


if you'll be my star I'll be your sky

by janie_tangerine



Series: and who but you would take me in [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: (well no there is some sorta plot but it's all an excuse for the sex tbqh), Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BDSM, Blindfolds, Bottoming from the Top, Coming Untouched, Crossdressing, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Smut, Hand Feeding, Hook-Up, Kink Negotiation, Kneeling, Light Bondage, M/M, Mirror Sex, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Panties, Past Abuse, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Public Sex, Rimming, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safeword Use, Shower Sex, Subspace, The Author Regrets Nothing, What Have I Done, balon greyjoy is a horrible jerk in any universe ever, don't look for positive characterization in that sense, good thing for everyone involved, i'm probably forgetting stuff out of the kinks list watch me update the tags later, robb is probably the nicest top in the universe, theon especially, when i say this has explicit sexual content i mean it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2851310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“I don’t care for that honorifics crap. Well, I guess Ygritte hasn’t told you, did she?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Told me what?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“What I thought. Just call me Robb. I don’t get off on people calling me titles.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“And what do you get off to then? If I may ask.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Sure you can. I get off on people trusting me to do right by them. Which means that unless everyone is happy, it doesn’t work for me.”</i>
</p><p>Or: where Theon Greyjoy and Robb Stark walk into Ygritte's BDSM club one evening. Calling it good karma is probably an understatement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm. Hahaha. So.
> 
> This was supposed to be a throbb week fic. I THOUGHT I'D JUST WRITE A NICE KINKY THING WHERE THEY HOOK UP IN A BAR AND HAVE SOME FUN. That obviously... didn't happen. I got 36k words of porn instead and since I finished it this week I figured HEY WHAT'S A BETTER FANDOM CHRISTMAS GIFT THAN POSTING A BUNCH OF PORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY WHILE HOGGING THE ONLY COMPUTER IN THE HOUSE FULL OF RELATIVES. Here, merry Christmas throbb fandom, HAVE 36K OF BDSM WITH THE CHEESIEST TITLE IN EXISTENCE BECAUSE I COULDN'T FIND A BETTER SUITED ONE I hope this pleases y'all.
> 
> In more detailed ANs: I just wanted to write the porn. The sort of barely-there plot holding this thing together happened as a second thought so make of that what you will, *but* since there's past Theon/Ramsay noncon implied there are the usual references to it and there's one instance of safewording out of a scene because of it but I'm gonna warn about it in the A/N to that specific part since I figured splitting this up in parts was going to be better for everyone involved. Everything else should be fairly safe since both Robb and I like our porn if everyone is having fun.
> 
> Also, I've done my fair amount of research (I really hope no one who doesn't know I write porn fic searches through my phone chronology before I delete all the tips for safe anal sex that I looked up...) but since this is the first time I actually go full-on with the whole bdsm kink thing feel free to point it out if I went and messed things up. Also Robb's checklist is a mix of three different lists I found online which I can't link you right now but I'll be happy to edit the A/N when I'm not out for the holidays.
> 
> As usual, nothing belongs to me except for the porn and the title is from Gregory and the Hawk. Merry Christmas everyone, enjoy the porn.
> 
> ETA A WHILE LATER: this now has a prequel. :D

“Look who’s here,” Theon hears coming from his left, and he slowly breathes out before turning and facing Ygritte.

He had sort of hoped she wouldn’t notice him, but he should have known better. Of course she would. It’s her club, she would pay attention to who walks in.

“Hi,” he answers, trying to keep it as cool as possible. Maybe she won’t realize how nervous he actually is, even if he doubts it. After all, she wouldn’t be good at her job and she wouldn’t own a bloody BDSM club of all things if she didn’t notice that kind of thing. And the fact that she knows him won’t help at all, here.

On cue, her eyes narrow at once and her lips move into a thin line. “Listen, it’s not that I want to lose a customer, but considering what happened the last four times you came here, considering what I know from what went on before then, and considering that you’re tense as a live wire, are you really sure you should be _here_ of all places?”

Damn it.

Now he has to try and explain her that yes, he’s perfectly aware that out of the last four times he was in this joint, three were with jerks he didn’t search out for more than a couple times each and the fourth was with a guy who’s currently banned from the premises on account of what happened to _him_.

“For real. Aren’t you sure you shouldn’t try something vanilla for a while? It’s not even been half a year,” Ygritte presses.

“As if I didn’t try,” Theon sighs. He’s not sure of how to put into words, but - well, if he wants to get properly laid tonight he’s going to have to pass through her screening. “Listen, it just - it doesn’t work. I mean. I can do it, but I don’t _like_ it.”

Ygritte _thankfully_ doesn’t ask him to clarify that, because he surely didn’t like anything that went on between him and Ramsay either, but maybe she did realize that he meant that vanilla just doesn’t do much for him. It never did. If it did, he’d have a lot less problems in his life, for that matter.

She stares at him for another moment, then she gives him a sharp nod.

“Fine. I can respect that. But I also don’t want to find myself with another situation like Bolton on my hands.”

“I don’t think there are many other situations like Bolton walking around here.”

“Good point, but - frankly? Theon, you have horrible taste. Or horrible luck, but I can’t remember one time when you picked someone who actually was what you wanted. Or needed. Or both.”

“I don’t even pick them, for that matter.”

“Ah, right, you’re some magnet for assholes, that’s not the point.” If only she were joking. She’s not. “So, since _I_ own this joint, I have a proposition for you.”

“What? Don’t say I should hook up with you.”

“Please. I’m not the kind of person you need,” she snorts. “I meant, I’m not kicking you out and telling you to give yourself another few months before coming back into the scene, but I’m picking the guy for you.”

“What - come on, there’s no need for that.”

“Actually, there is. You need someone responsible, not an asshole, and since for some reason you never go search for the responsible people, or they never find you, I’m taking the liberty of speeding up the process. Listen, if you just want to get laid and you don’t care about the rest then what do you have to lose?”

Fine. That’s a good point. And he can probably trust her more than he could trust half of his relatives. Still.

“I don’t need a babysitter, all right? I can pick someone all on my own.”

“No one said you needed a babysitter, but you do have crap taste in partners, so let me disagree on the second part of that statement. Actually… just wait.”

She puts her elbows on the bar. “Jon! Can you come here a moment?”

Jon - aka Jon Snow, aka the bartender, aka _Ygritte’s sub for that matter_ , when he’s not working for her at least - nods at her, pours a drink for a guy in front of him and then comes to their side of the table.

“Do you need anything?” He asks her, before he notices Theon. He sends a sympathetic glance his way before looking back at Ygritte again.

“Actually, yes. Is your brother around tonight?”

“Robb? Uh, yeah. He came in some five minutes ago. I think.”

“Splendid. Does he have a date?”

“Not that he told me. And he didn’t have one last I checked. Why?”

“Even better. Can you go find him and tell him to get over here?”

“Sure. What do I tell him?”

“That I found him his date.”

Jon looks at her, then at Theon, then he smirks for a split second and leaves for the other side of the bar without saying a word.

Theon isn’t sure he likes this.

“ _His_ brother?”

“Dear, the fact that Jon isn’t ever going to be a switch doesn’t mean that people related to him must be the same. And his brother is the most bloody responsible dom that ever set foot inside this joint. Don’t look at me like I’m insane. He is. And I’m pretty sure he’s exactly the kind of guy that would rock your world.”

Shit, he knows he’s blushing.

“Yeah, and how do you know he’s even my type? Because his brother surely isn’t.”

“If you look at him and he’s not your type, something’s wrong with you. Hell, too bad we aren’t compatible in bed.”

She actually does look sorry at that.

Theon is sure he hasn’t had enough to drink.

“Listen, I appreciate the effort, but there’s no need -”

“Oh, there he is. Robb, over here!

Ygritte waves at someone who’s coming up from behind him and Theon turns, figuring that at least he should take a good look at the death he’s dying of, since he doubts Ygritte is going to let this go.

And.

Well.

Fuck.

 _Robb_ is definitely easy on the eyes, at least. Ginger curls and stubble, two huge blue eyes that by all rights should belong on a movie star and not a mere human, as tall as he is or maybe just a bit shorter – he’s bulkier, though. Not that much, but he is. That stated, Theon is just thinking that at least the guy doesn’t look threatening, and then Ygritte tells him that she thinks she’s found him a date, who is standing right next to him.

Robb turns and stares at him and fucking smiles as he holds out his hand and wow. Wow. Saying that he has a pretty smile would be an insult to it. Theon feels blinded for a moment. Then he realizes that maybe he should introduce himself, so he grabs Robb’s hand and shakes it.

“Uh. Hi. I’m Theon. Nice - nice to meet you?”

“I guess she already did this for me, but still. I’m Robb. First thing, are you actually on board with this?”

“Sorry, what?”

“I _know_ her and and I know she means well, but I don’t like to sleep with people who aren’t entirely convinced. So, now that you’ve actually seen me, do you want to go on or you’d rather not? If you wouldn’t, no offense taken.”

… Well. That’s new. For a moment Theon doesn’t know what the hell he should answer.

Then.

“Well, and what about you? I mean. The reverse would be valid, right?”

“Oh, _I_ would have no problem whatsoever,” Robb replies, and damn but he is looking at Theon like he honestly would like to sleep with him now that he’s seen him, and. It’s weird, because that never happened before, but - there’s nothing telling Theon he shouldn’t go for it. Robb does seem like a nice guy - surely nicer than his average lay. He could do a lot worse, that’s for sure.

“I’m on board with this,” Theon replies, feeling his throat getting drier with every word.

“Well then,” Robb says amiably, “Good. I don’t like starting with the wrong foot.”

“I don’t either,” Ygritte interrupts. “And it’s great that you’re getting along, but before I leave you to your merry evening… Robb, I need a word with you.”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.”

Robb winks at him and then follows Ygritte a bit farther down the bar.

Theon doesn’t even try to eavesdrop - he knows what Ygritte’s most probably telling him. He doesn’t want to even think about it, since he’s pretty sure she’s informing Robb of how much exactly he’s dealing with damaged goods, so he just looks down at his hands and waits.

He doesn’t have to wait long - Robb sits down next to him maybe a few minutes later, and when Theon turns to look at him, he doesn’t look… disappointed or anything. Just as friendly as he was before.

Is this guy even _real_?

“So,” Robb says, “how do you want to do this?”

“Sorry, how do _I_ want to do this? Shouldn’t it be how _you_ want to do it?”

Robb shrugs. “Well, if you’re into that, but I usually don’t go for it the first time. Now, I can buy you a drink and we can chat a bit, or we can get a room upstairs, or if you don’t want to get a room my place isn’t far. I like to make sure everyone is having a good time.”

Theon doesn’t honestly know what to reply this time either - god, has he ever slept with someone who actually asked him any of that? He doesn’t think so. Then again, his throat is dry. But considering that all his latest experiences were in a room upstairs, he’s not so sure that he wants to do this here.

He doesn’t even particularly want to go to a stranger’s house, but - he shouldn’t start freaking out about that. Ygritte approves of the guy, and he’s related to Jon fucking Snow. He has to be safe.

“Uhm. Your place, if it’s fine? I’m –I don’t have any fond memories of upstairs. And maybe we could get a drink there?”

Robb nods at once. “Sure thing. Actually, it’s better like that – there’s something we should go through before doing anything, and we can do that more easily back there. Right then, follow me.”

Theon swallows – he hopes not too visibly – and he does. Robb shrugs on a leather jacket before he heads out and Theon can’t help the traitorous thought – _damn, I would gladly kneel for_ that _._

He doesn’t dwell on it and heads out, as well.

\--

Robb wasn’t lying - his place is maybe five minutes from the _Wall_. It’s a nice apartment, Theon notices – a living room, a hallway with a couple doors that presumably lead to bathroom and bedroom, and then a kitchen on the other side.

“Please grab a seat,” Robb says as he takes his jacket off. “All right, is there anything you’d like? I have beer. And some wine. But if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like to drink alcohol before a scene I think I have Pepsi somewhere.”

“No, uh, I’ll have the beer. Thanks.” How is Robb dealing with this so easily? He looks like he’s done this a hundred times.

Hell, for all he knows, he has. He’s probably not the kind to scene with the same partner for more than one time, though, or he wouldn’t be _looking for a date_. Whatever kind of dom he is, Theon is pretty sure that he can’t be the kind of person who doesn’t manage to find a date in ten minutes while not even trying.

He takes a deep breath and sits down on the sofa. He doesn’t know who’d buy an orange sofa of all colors, but it’s pretty cozy, and now that he looks at the living room, it is cozy overall. The walls are all covered in shelves, the shelves are full of books, records, family pictures and so on, the table is covered with a colored cloth and a lace centerpiece that for what Theon knows the guy’s mother knitted, and there isn’t a television.

Definitely not Theon’s usual scene. He’s pretty sure he’s never been inside an apartment that looked this… well, this homely.

Seriously, he really needs to get laid.

Robb comes back a moment later. He has a bottle of beer in one hand, a can of Pepsi trapped between his elbow and his hip and - and a small folder in his other hand? What would he need a folder for?

“Here you go.” He hands Theon the beer.

“Thanks. Uh, you didn’t get one, too?”

“Well, I am the kind who doesn’t drink before scening.” And – he winks at him. Again.

No one has the right to look this attractive, for fuck’s sake.

“Anyway, as I was saying, while you get that drink, could you fill this for me?” Robb asks very nonchalantly. Then he grabs something from the folder and drops it on Theon’s lap.

It’s a fucking _checklist_.

Theon is pretty sure that his head starts swimming the moment he reads the first few kinks listed on it, never mind the instructions or the rates or –

“Uh,” he says, hoping he’s not going red in the face. “I – I really don’t need to do this.”

“For real,” Robb replies, looking entirely nonplussed as he takes a drink from his can.

“For real. I’m good with anything.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say,” Robb says, and keeps on looking at him. “Still, who says it’s for you?”

“What?”

“It doesn’t take me long to plan, but I like to know what people enjoy before I start doing it. And even if you’re _good with anything_ , there has to be something you like more than the rest.”

Theon swallows and grabs the pen on the table. He takes another drink, then figures that there’s no reason to drag this along. He’s never – no one he’s ever been with ever showed up with a checklist, and it’s not like he’s ever ended up with anyone who asked what he would have liked to try. It wasn’t the point. _He_ wasn’t the one supposed to decide, right?

He goes and starts checking fours and fives to anything he’s already done (most of the first two pages) and says he’d be willing to try whatever he hasn’t done already – surely like this there’s no way he’s going to fuck it up, right?

Except.

He manages to keep his front up until he gets to _exhibitionism – forced_ , where his hand shakes for a moment as the tip of the pen hovers on _four_ , and then he’s checking it but he stops at once when Robb’s fingers gently press on his wrist.

“You don’t have to lie, you know,” he says, and Theon glances at his left and shit Robb is this close to him and he should look disappointed, but – somehow he isn’t?

“I’m not,” he blurts, perfectly aware that he doesn’t sound very sure of that at all.

“You are. Come on, no one has all fours and fives for everything. And this has nothing to do with what Ygritte told me, if you’re about to tell me that she’s exaggerating. I’m pretty sure that you’re not into any kind of body modification, for that matter.”

“How –” Theon starts before realizing he’s given himself out.

“You went pale as a sheet when you got to that one. Come on, I wouldn’t be halfway good at this if I didn’t see that. And don’t worry, that specific kink is a solid zero as far as I am concerned.”

Robb moves the sheet away from his lap, then he grabs a fresh one from the folder.

“Now, how about you go at it again?”

“If – it’s probably not a good idea.”

“Why?”

He takes a deep breath. Of course Ygritte would have set him up with someone who wants to _talk it out_.

“Because then I’m not so sure you’d have that much to go on with,” Theon sighs.

“That’s my problem, not yours. You stop worrying about that and go about it again. As stated, take your time. No one’s in a hurry.”

And – the thing is that, while he asked very nicely, Robb still had a tone that felt – Theon doesn’t know how to say it. He wasn’t ordering it. Just… strongly suggesting it. Maybe. Nicely, strongly suggesting it.

He feels a shiver run down his spine and nods, and then he takes another long drink.

Then he goes about it again.

And fine, he has to think about some of the picks, but - he hadn’t known that it would feel so good to just go and check hard limit under every action listed under _beating_ , or checking it twice under _humiliation_. And under _recorded scenes_. Or to check soft limit at all the ones under _bondage_. 

So maybe he blushes crimson when he checks that maybe he could try wearing corsets, and he doesn’t know why the fuck he’s checking that when he barely even knows Robb, but just the fact that he’s doing this as if he means it is enough to make him pause and take it seriously.

Hell, if Robb gave him this he surely wouldn’t have a problem with any listed activity, right?

Why is he even fucking worrying, he doesn’t know.

He checks hard limit at being physically overpowered and hands the checklist over without another look at it – the idea of re-reading it is enough to give him a headache.

“I’m sorry if –”

“Don’t even say that and just let me read it,” Robb says, and true to his word, he does get through it meticulously.

It takes him five minutes before he nods and places the list back on the table. Then he drinks some more Pepsi again and looks back at him, still with that fucking intense stare, and gosh they haven’t even touched yet and Theon’s head is feeling dizzy.

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty enough for me to go on here,” Robb says a moment later, as if he can just guess what Theon’s thinking. Well. He was thinking that.

“Uh. Well. That’s good?”

“I could tell you, but from what I gather, you wouldn’t want to know beforehand. Or would you?”

“Not really,” he replies truthfully. He always liked not knowing what was expecting him, though more at the beginning. After then, well, it wasn’t like anyone offered.

“What I thought. Fine then, I suppose that it’s time for the last of the talking. Any questions from you?”

“Uh. How should I call you?”

 _Please don’t say my lord_ , he thinks, and he knows that he’s worrying about nothing because who else would want him to use that, but still -

Robb just smirks and shakes his head. “Just my name will do.”

“… What?”

“I don’t care for that honorifics crap. Well, I guess Ygritte hasn’t told you, did she?”

“Told me what?”

“What I thought. Just call me Robb. I don’t get off on people calling me titles.”

“And what do you get off to then? If I may ask.”

“Sure you can. I get off on people trusting me to do right by them. Which means that unless everyone is happy, it doesn’t work for me.”

Oh.

 _Of course_ Ygritte would have matched them up.

Of fucking course.

“And what’s your safe word?”

… of course, again.

“I – I never had one?”

At that, Robb’s eyes narrow, and for a moment he looks like someone who’d really like to let out a string of curses.

“You never had one.”

“Uh. No.”

“And how many – with how many people have you done this? If I may ask.”

“Four. Give or take.”

“Four. Christ, if any of them picked you up at the Wall I should hope Ygritte banned them.”

“She did? But –”

“That’s fine. Then just pick one. Don’t say you don’t need it. I have a safe word. If I do, you need to have one too.”

Since when do doms have safe words, Theon has no clue. But. All right. He needs to act quick.

“Can we just – do the green, yellow and red thing?”

“Fine by me. And mine is winter. Yes, you need to know that. Now, is there anything that you need for after we’re done?”

“Do – what would I need?”

Theon has honestly no fucking clue of what Robb’s fishing for, and Robb must realize it, because he doesn’t press on that.

“That’s fine, you’ll see what I mean later. I also have a good idea of what I need to do, so – don’t worry about that. We’re good.”

“We are?”

“We definitely are.” And Robb is smirking ever so slightly at that.

Then he moves a hand at the back of his neck, squeezing just a bit, and – he feels a shiver run down his spine, the good kind of, and he’s expecting Robb to push him downwards on his knees, which he’d be entirely fine with - hell, as stated, he’d totally wanted to do it back when Robb introduced himself first, but Robb doesn’t do that.

Rather, he moves and starts rubbing a circle against his neck with his thumb as his forehead touches Theon’s.

“You know, you’re shaking.”

“I am?”

“You are. That’s fine, I figured it’d happen.”

Shit. He _is_ shaking.

“Now. I’m going to go to the bathroom and grab a few things. While I’m there, I want you to finish that drink if you feel like it, then I want you to go into the bedroom – first door on the right in the hallway. When you’re there, take off your shoes. There’s a black pillow on the bed. Grab it, put it on the ground, kneel and wait for me. How’s that for now?”

“Green,” he replies truthfully, feeling slightly lightheaded at it.

“Great. There you go, then.”

He gives Theon’s neck a last squeeze and then stands up, headed for the bathroom or wherever, and Theon tries not to let himself feel too dizzy when the physical contact is gone.

Okay.

Fine.

Not too hard. He finishes his beer, puts it back on the table, stands up and heads for the bedroom. When he walks in, the light is already turned on. The bed looks large enough and plenty comfortable, and yes, there is a black pillow on it.

He swallows, takes off his shoes, puts the pillow carefully on the ground and lowers himself down on it. He’s still tense, but the moment he does the familiarity of the pose kicks in and he loosens a bit – good. He clasps his hands behind his back, and he loosens just a bit more, but after that, he has no clue of what else to do.

He looks down at the floor, figuring that it’s the safest option. At least it’s pretty comfortable, as far as kneeling goes, and he wishes he had a clue of what Robb’s plan is here, but then again he didn’t ask, did he? Hopefully he won’t keep him waiting too long. He wonders if he said something in the checklist that might have hinted that he really has no patience for long games right now and –

The door opens. He breathes in sharply, unable to keep it in, but nothing happens as he hears it close slowly. Robb doesn’t lock the door, or so it seems.

“Very good,” he hears coming from behind him, and – wow. Has he just – it’s not that the voice has changed.

It’s the tone. You can’t mistake it as anything but commanding, but it’s not – it’s not demanding at the same time. It’s the tone of someone who’s in charge and perfectly knows that, but not someone who wants to gloat in it.

“I want to know how you’re feeling like right now,” Robb asks, still somewhere behind him and still not coming any closer.

“Green.” How else should he be feeling? He hasn’t done anything until now.

“Good. I’m coming over there.”

Why would he even warn, Theon wonders, and then he feels a hand cup his neck. Robb buries his fingertips in the hair at the back of his head, and for a moment Theon expects him to pull, but then he actually - he doesn’t. He cards through it once, then twice, then thrice, and while he does that Theon can feel his body go a bit more lax with every motion.

Then Robb’s hand moves to his right shoulder, and the other touches his left, and –

He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to make noise, but he can’t avoid moaning out loud when Robb’s thumbs dig into his shoulders and start massaging his back, still going very slow. He hadn’t realized he was this tense.

“Still green?” Robb asks.

“Yes,” Theon manages, and damn but Robb is good at this.

“Good. Now I want you to listen to me carefully. From now on, you’re free to make all the noise you want, but you’re not going to speak unless it’s to answer me or if you need to safeword. If I ask you a question, I am expecting an answer. Are you with me still?”

“Yes.”

“If you need to safeword, do. Now, from what I understand, you really just want to do what’s asked of you nicely and get a proper reward for it, or am I wrong?”

“You’re right,” Theon answers, not even wondering how Robb guessed that. He’s already not thinking that straight in the first place, he can’t guess how Robb knows.

“Then nothing would displease me more than you soldiering through something you don’t like just because you think I would like it. Is that clear?”

“It is.” It was crystal clear. You could hear it just from the tone of his voice. Theon isn’t even sure of how it even goes since he never did it before, but he supposes trying can’t be that hard, can it?

“Good. Because let me tell you, the moment we were introduced everything I could think of was how much I’d have liked you to kneel for me.”

 _Shit, and you don’t even know how much I wanted to kneel for you_ , Theon would have answered in any other moment. But since he can’t speak and it’s not a question, he keeps his mouth shut.

“And you’re doing it so well,” Robb adds, running a hand along his spine, and shit but he can’t help shuddering and pressing back against him, as faint as the contact was.

“Damn, look at how eager you are.” That doesn’t sound mocking. That sounds – impressed? Shit. Shit, they haven’t done it for five minutes and Theon’s completely out of his depth, because anyone else he’s been with would have had him sucking them off by now.

He’s also hard already, and fuck but _they barely touched_.

“I still think you need to loosen up. Don’t worry, I know you’re not doing it on purpose.”

Robb moves away at that, and he just barely manages not to whine at the loss of contact, but then his hands are back on Theon’s shoulders and he sees Robb’s knees touching the ground in front of his own.

“Look up at me.”

Theon swallows and does, meeting dark blue eyes, and his first instinct is looking back down but he forces himself not to.

“Good. Now, from now on if you have your eyes open I want you to look up at me. How’s that?”

“Green.” Shit, he’s starting to feel dizzy now, but – that’s reasonable. He can do that.

His mouth also feels completely dry.

He doesn’t know what he’s expecting. 

Not for Robb’s hand to go back to his hair again, starting to stroke through it all over again, and not the other hand touching his face just barely.

That, until Robb’s fingertips touch his lips. He’s not pushing, not doing anything at all except stroking his hair, and – fine. Maybe he has to guess. He parts his lips and sucks a fingertip in dutifully, runs his tongue along it and –

And then Robb pushes a second tip in, and he’s still petting his hair at the same time. He moves a bit, sitting up on the bed, but he doesn’t stop doing either and yeah, fine, he definitely noticed the five Theon checked on the equivalent of _I like to have things in my mouth_ , and shit but it feels good, and he feels so taut he could snap at any moment, and –

He doesn’t even realize that he has moaned around Robb’s fingers and that he’s actually coming already until it’s already happened – he was so focused on everything else that he didn’t notice, and shit Robb hasn’t even touched him, and he hasn’t gotten laid in a while so fine, it’s been a long time, but he can’t believe he actually did that, oh shit he feels so embarrassed that –

“Stop,” Robb says, and Theon looks at him opening his eyes and – he looks pleased with it?

“I wasn’t planning on making you relax just to get you embarrassed at me all over again. That’s fine. I thought it would take longer, but it doesn’t matter. You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to do. How are you feeling now? Think about it before you answer me.”

And – and as he tries not to let the shame get to him, he realizes that his limbs feel a lot more loose, that he’s not as tense anymore, and even the fact that his underwear will be fairly uncomfortable shortly doesn’t seem to matter in the long run.

“Green,” he finally settles on. Robb smiles and shit but he’d do anything to have it directed at him again – it’s the smile of someone who’s so very pleased, and he wants to keep it there.

“Very good. Now, this time I was just wanting to see how long it would take you, but we’re going to do this again now, and I don’t want you to come until I say so. Clear?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Now stand.”

He does, and Robb helps him up when his knees falter him for a moment, and then he lets Robb sit him on the bed. He stays still with his hands pressing on the bed, moving them just when Robb takes off his shirt – he lets him. He keeps on staying still when Robb gets rid of his jeans and dirty underwear and throws them in the corner of the room.

Then Robb smirks and kneels in front of him.

He most definitely sees that Theon can’t keep the surprise at that. He wants to say _I should be the one doing it_ , but he stops himself at the last moment.

“That was very good of you,” Robb says a moment later, his hands going on Theon’s knees. “I know what you might be thinking. Don’t. I need to get you back in the mood if I want to fuck you later, right?”

Shit, Theon thinks he’d do anything for Robb to do it right this moment, but he knows he can’t say it.

“Do you want me to?”

_Oh._

“Please,” he manages.

“And you even ask so nicely,” Robb remarks. “Well then. If you don’t come while I’m doing this, there’s a done deal.”

And then he leans down and puts his mouth on his cock and _fuck_.

Fuck.

Robb’s second name should be something along the lines of _utter tease_ \- he starts slow, taking just the tip in and taking his own sweet time with it before taking in a bit more, and then a bit more whenever he gets harder, his hands pressing against Theon’s thighs. And he’s not doing it as if he can’t wait to be done and move on to something that he might enjoy more – Theon’s pretty sure no one’s ever taken their sweet time blowing him in his entire life. It’s probably a good thing Robb’s taking it slow, because he was completely spent before, but it certainly doesn’t hurt that he seems to be liking it and that he’s damn good – some things he’s doing with his tongue make him moan shamelessly more than once, and when he dares thrusting forward a bit Robb sends him a look that makes his knees go weak before twirling his tongue around the head again.

By the time Robb pulls away, he’s so hard it aches, and he doesn’t know how he managed to not come inside that mouth, but somehow he hasn’t, and maybe he keens when Robb wraps a hand around the head of his painfully hard erection, but he can make noise, right?

He’s also leaking all over, but he’s keeping himself in check and damn it, he will until this is done.

He shivers when Robb’s hand moves up to his side, petting his hip slowly.

And then Robb leans down, kissing him open-mouthed, and good fucking damn it’s positively filthy, with the way he tastes bitter everywhere and the way his tongue is running along Theon’s lips before plunging in.

When he moves away, Theon legitimately feels dizzy. Robb’s eyes are so blue they’re almost blinding.

“Let me tell you,” Robb says as the hand that isn’t on his hip moves up to his face, cupping his cheek ever so gently, “I’m impressed.”

He’s _impressed_?

He moves his fingers up to Theon’s mouth again. “Since I like to keep my promises, how about you get them wet to keep your mind off things?”

He’s parted his lips before Robb has finished talking, gladly taking the both of them in, and the small smile Robb makes when he does? Yes. Yes, that was exactly what he wanted to see.

“You’re taking it all so well,” Robb muses, still sounding as if he’s entirely positively surprised. “Damn, you really got shit luck with partners, didn’t you?”

Theon can’t exactly ask for clarification. He’s too busy making sure Robb’s fingers are as wet as he’d like them to be. When Robb moves them away he can’t help feeling at a loss for a moment, but then – then Robb sheds his jeans and underwear, grabs something from his pocket that definitely looks like a condom, puts it on and quickly gets on the bed, moving behind him so that Theon’s back is against his chest.

“Spread your legs,” Robb says as he reaches out for something on the nightstand.

Right. Lube. Theon does as Robb coats his fingers in it, and he’s kind of ready for it to hurt, but when Robb’s fingertips press against his entrance he just pushes one in and not even halfway.

“Give me a color.”

“Green,” he answers promptly, as he wants Robb to go on, damn it, before he dies of anticipation.

By the time Robb has three fingers in him, he’s seeing stars.

He doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to think straight, not when Robb’s hitting at the right spot mercilessly and he’s moaning so loud he’s sure all the neighbors are hearing him. He’s completely beyond any coherency here – when Robb puts an arm around his back just after he finally, finally takes away his fingers and then replaces them with his dick he thinks that he might see stars very, very soon.

So maybe he sobs in earnest when he finally slides in fully, and damn but he’s _this_ close, if only Robb just said the word – he’s not going to break down when he’s made it this far but –

He shivers harder when Robb presses his mouth just below his ear, bites down on that piece of skin so very gently and then wraps a hand around his cock, though very, very loosely.

“Let go when you want,” Robb says, giving his cock a small squeeze. And – 

“I think you more than earned it.”

And – that’s it, he closes his eyes and just lets go as Robb strokes him through the hardest orgasm he’s ever had in his entire life. He doesn’t know if he’s ever come this hard, he doesn’t know if he’s ever shaken so much during a scene and because he felt good, not the contrary – he just knows that maybe this is the first time in his life that he’s got exactly everything he wanted out of a scene and he’s still coming when Robb finally gives a last push and comes inside him with a shudder. He’s saying something, he’s sure, but he can’t hear him any more.

He blinks and comes to as he feels a soft, wet cloth run along his legs.

He groans just slightly, wondering what’s going on, and then he sees Robb running said wet cloth along the mess on his legs and his stomach, and he knows he should protest, it’s fine, he can do it on his own, but his mind feels sluggish and when he tries to raise a hand he barely manages it, and –

Robb’s free hand cards through his hair again and he goes completely boneless at that.

He’s not even trying to make sense of his own reactions. He’s entirely too far gone for that.

“You’ve done great,” Robb says, sounding so damn earnest. “Don’t worry about anything. You have to come down from it but just take your time. That’s it, just let me worry about the rest.”

He closes his eyes and just focuses on Robb’s fingers running through his hair, and when Robb moves back behind him and spoons him loosely he doesn’t know what it says that he feels a lot safer right now – with someone he barely even knows – than he’s ever done with anyone else he’s slept with, but he can’t care about that right now.

He just goes to sleep instead.

\--

He wakes up to sun filtering through the window and – 

_Shit_. The alarm clock says eight in the morning, and Robb isn’t there but he can smell coffee from the kitchen.

And he’s slept the entire night without waking once, never mind that while he’s a bit sore, he actually feels good. Rested. And relaxed. As if he really got the best lay of his life. Which he definitely did. For a moment he feels ashamed about how easily it had gone, but –

A bigger part of him wonders if Robb might be amenable to do it again.

He swallows, notices that Robb left him some clean underwear on the bed and he puts it on, trying not to feel flustered because he’s wearing his clothes. He puts on his shirt and sees that his jeans are nowhere in the room.

He swallows again and heads to the kitchen.

Where Robb is making pancakes.

“Hey,” he says, grinning as if he also had the best lay of his life. “Your jeans are in the dryer – I figured I could give them a wash along with the rest, but you’d have probably wanted at least underwear to go around in.”

“Yeah, well. You guessed right. Thanks for that. And – I can grab breakfast out, if –”

“Nonsense, just take a seat. I’m not going to let you fuck off when I’m pretty sure you didn’t even eat anything yesterday.”

Theon is re-defining responsible right now.

“About that.” He swallows, wishing his mouth didn’t feel dry all over again.

“Yes?” Robb puts a plate with a couple pancakes on it as he sits down and Christ, Theon shouldn’t wonder how would it feel to just kneel at the guy’s feet and ask him to hand feed him said breakfast, because that’s not the kind of shit you do with someone the first time. Or the second, for that matter.

“I just – damn, I’m terrible at talking about it, but – what’s your policy?”

“You _are_ indeed shit at talking about it,” Robb agrees. “What’s my policy about what?”

“Partners. I mean, it’s that – do you think it could happen again or your deal is that you don’t do it twice with the same person? If yes, well, no problem. But –”

“I have no such policy,” Robb cuts him, sounding amused.

“Really?”

“What surprises you about it?”

“Uhm, if you didn’t have one how come you don’t have – someone stable already? Because –”

“Is that a very roundabout way of telling me I’m really good at topping people?”

Theon almost chokes on his pancake. “Fuck you,” he replies without meaning it, and Robb snorts along with him. “I was getting there. I mean, that was – I don’t think I’ve ever had anything better in my entire life. So yeah. I was trying to tell you you were really good at this.”

“Why, I’m flattered.”

“And since you are good I don’t see how you aren’t taken already. The end.”

Robb shrugs and eats a piece of pancake before looking back up at him.

“It’s not for lack of trying. I mean, it’s not that I _look_ for it, but I wouldn’t say no if I found the right person. It’s just that somehow everyone I meet eventually ends up being into things I’ll never like.”

“Meaning?”

“You didn’t ask, but that checklist I gave you goes both ways. I do have hard limits. I did try pushing a couple of times but I just couldn’t get into it. And then – well, everyone else I meet outside the scene, they aren’t interested in trying it out. So I just mostly hook up with different people and it never goes anywhere. Apparently I never met anyone who didn’t think that I was too vanilla for them eventually. Was this another roundabout way of asking me if I’m willing to do this again with you?”

“… Stop that, damn you. And what are your hard limits, just for curiosity?”

Robb looks straight at him again and if he hadn’t been sitting, his knees would have gone weak at once.

“Well. I don’t like humiliating people even if they ask me to. Or putting them in extreme pain. I could never manage to get through certain roleplay scenarios. I can’t pretend that something isn’t consensual even if in theory it is. That includes using knives or anything else that could seriously harm the other person.”

Theon swallows all over again.

Shit.

 _Shit_.

“Let me guess, you’re thinking that the things I don’t like are exactly the things you’ll never want to try out or do again in your life?”

“You’re good,” Theon replies, without even hiding that he feels a bit giddy. “Do you think we could do it again, then? If you want to, of course. I mean, that was – that was everything I could ask for, but I don’t know if the reverse –”

“Stop right there,” Robb says before moving his seat and sitting next to him. “Listen, I thought about telling you yesterday but then I figured it was already a delicate situation and I didn’t want to risk giving you an overload, so I didn’t mention it. The thing is – I don’t know who is that completely managed to miss the point with you until now, but you’re talking as if you think that whatever you do, it’s never going to satisfy the other person completely.”

“Well –”

“I know that tone. And I’m not sure I want to know what anyone else might have asked of you until now, but as far as I was concerned? I’ve been with a lot of people and I’m pretty sure last night was the most at ease I’ve ever felt, especially considering we’ve done it just once.”

… _this_ is unexpected.

“Sorry?”

“I told you. For me the payoff isn’t – isn’t people doing what I ask of them. It’s people trusting me to make them feel good and trusting me with being in charge of making them feel good. And – damn, now this might sound seriously embarrassing, but the way you just went with it? I don’t think I got that far with anyone else the first time. I wasn’t telling you that you were being perfect just for kicks, I meant it.”

Theon swallows.

Then he figures he should just go along with it.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that. In-scene, I mean.”

“Has anyone ever asked you what you wanted out of it?”

“Not really.”

“There you go. Anyway, getting back to the point, if you want to do it again of course we can. And it does look convienent, right? I mean, seems like we’re both getting what we want, so why not?”

Theon smiles at that, admitting that yes, that’s pretty much the way it looks like. They exchange numbers. They finish breakfast. Theon walks out of Robb’s place feeling lighter than he has in years.

Ygritte calls him ten minutes later, asking him if there’s anything she should know.

“Just that you’re good at your job,” he admits, and she laughs.

She’s earned it, he supposes.


	2. Chapter 2

He calls Robb three days later. He hadn’t planned on doing it this soon, but his dad is being his usual obnoxious self, Asha is on vacation somewhere secluded with Qarl doing fuck knows what and fucking Ramsay ignores that he has a restraining order on him and ends up camping outside his house – Theon has to call the police to get them to drag him away.

He needs to unwind so much it’s not even funny, and in the middle of the most hellish day at work he can remembers having, he calls Robb during his lunch break.

For a moment he hopes he’s not being a nuisance, but Robb sounds plenty fine with seeing him that evening. Always his place.

“Since I have time to think about it this round, is there anything you’d want to try?” Robb asks after they agree on nine PM.

“Uh. Like what?”

“You did have some soft limits in there. But other than that, it’s not like last time I asked you if there was anything you wanted to try. Mostly because I figured it would be too much, but – if you have preferences, I’m more than willing to work around that.”

He thinks about it for a moment – damn, there are things that he thought he might have liked if he didn’t feel like his enjoyment was entirely secondary to his partner’s, but right now he’s coming up with a blank. And then –

“Maybe – uh, you could – tie me up a bit? Not too much, but. I always wanted to see if it could work. Done properly.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Robb replies. “See you tonight, then.”

Theon gets to Robb’s place feeling even more nervous, because while he doesn’t doubt that Robb won’t do anything he wouldn’t like, all his previous experiences on the matter still turned out abysmal and he really doesn’t want that.

Then Robb opens the door wearing a red silk shirt that absolutely complements his hair, smirks just slightly and lets him in.

“Take off your shoes and make yourself comfortable,” Robb says. “I can order in some pizza. How do you want it?”

“There’s no need –”

“Theon, you’re tense like a live wire. Again. I’m not doing anything until we both had dinner.”

“You can pick it. Just no mushrooms or cheese.”

Robb raises an eyebrow but he doesn’t comment, grabs his phone and orders two veggies. He offers Theon another beer and gets himself soda, again, and they make inconsequential small talk until the pizza guy arrives. Robb pays for both, even if Theon had insisted, and then.

“Well, just take a seat in the kitchen. We can eat and then –”

“Actually…” Damn. Now Robb is looking at him with that focused stare, and it’s making Theon feel self-conscious, but he’s thinking about breakfast again, and damn but he really doesn’t want to sit down. He kind of wants to check out right the hell now.

“Yes?”

“Do I have to, y’know, _sit_?”

“Why, do you want to eat standing?”

“Not really,” Theon blurts, staring at Robb and hoping that Robb gets it, and then Robb’s eyes go wide. Then he places the pizzas on the table.

“Fine by me,” Robb replies, his voice sounding strangely rough. “If it’s not too weird for you to do it this soon, sure. And the rules are the same as last time, then. With the added notion that when I do tie you up, if you have any concern whatsoever you don’t need for me to ask you if I’m doing it wrong. I’d rather have you telling me straight. That clear?”

“Perfectly clear.”

“All right then. Whenever you’d like.”

Theon takes a very, very deep breath.

Then he stops overthinking it and walks up until he arrives at Robb’s chair, and then he kneels down, hands laced behind his back.

He looks up at Robb, who eats a slice of his pizza and then cuts a smaller one before feeding it to him. Theon takes it from his fingers, licking the salt off Robb’s fingertips when it’s entirely in his mouth, and he shivers in pleasure when Robb’s free hand ruffles his hair.

_Damn_. Robb was probably right, it is weird that they’re doing this so soon, but – it feels good, and he’s entirely too tired to care or worry that it shouldn’t work this well with someone he barely knows.

Never mind the way his stomach clenches when Robb leans down and puts a glass of water to his lips. He tips his head back and drinks, and he doesn’t fail to notice that Robb moves it away a moment before it could have become uncomfortable.

He doesn’t know how long it takes Robb to feed him all of his dinner but by the time he says they’re done, he feels positively – content? Maybe? He wouldn’t even guess the word, but his knees aren’t hurting that much, he feels warm all over, the way Robb’s fingers are still running through his hair is making him want to just melt right there and he’s not even sure he could stand up.

“Right,” Robb says, “we should probably get – _oh_.”

He looks down at him and doesn’t finish what he was about to say. For a moment Theon worries he might be somehow displeased, but he doesn’t… look displeased. Just surprised. Maybe a tad worried. But not displeased.

“Can you give me a color?” Robb asks, still sounding a bit concerned.

“Green,” he answers after a few moments, and his own voice sounds strange to his ears, but it’s definitely green.

“Well. Okay. Good. Can you stand?”

He makes a move to, but Robb pushes him back with a hand on his shoulder.

“Easy. Not at once.”

He goes slower and while his legs do feel a bit unsteady he can stand. No problem there.

“Woah. All right. Fine, let’s go. Slow.”

They make their way to the bedroom – Robb sits him down on the mattress, then opens the bedside drawer and takes something out of it. It takes him a moment to focus and realize what it is.

Oh. It’s a couple of… scarves? Silk scarves. Pink silk scarves. Definitely something a woman would wear.

“Listen, are you really sure you want me to go on? You can say your piece. If you’d rather just go to bed –”

“I want to,” Theon replies earnestly, because he did want to, and if the previous thirty minutes had felt this nice then he really wants to see what happens now, and – everything feels still so soft and warm, he’s pretty sure it never happened with anyone else.

He isn’t even caring that much.

“Okay. Just – stop me if I do something wrong. I mean it.”

He just nods and doesn’t move.

“Right. Move on the bed. Back against the headboard.”

He does, even if his movements all feel sluggish and poorly coordinated. When he’s done, Robb moves to his side and grabs one of his wrists gently, and then he ties it to the headboard.

And – oh. The knot is pretty loose – he could get out of it with enough effort – and it doesn’t hurt at all. Of course it wouldn’t, it’s silk. It’s weird that he still has his clothes on, but he’s not going to question it.

Robb does the same with the other hand, and when he leans back –

“How does it feel?” Robb asks, giving him a pointed look. It’s so obvious that he wants the truth that it doesn’t even cross his mind to lie to him, and he has lied before in this kind of situation. Then again, no one else he’s done this with ever cared about that, so.

He thinks about it.

And it’s… nice. He likes being anchored somewhere, he likes that he can’t move too much, but he also likes that it doesn’t feel constricting and that his wrists aren’t chafing already.

“Green,” he finally sets on, and he feels like even speaking is getting harder by the second, but he’s going to put an effort in it.

“All right.” Robb moves then, puts his hands at the sides of his chest, moving up above him. His knees go around Theon’s, his hands touch his shoulders and –

Suddenly something is wrong, not with the situation overall, but he can’t see the rest of the room, he can only see Robb’s frame if he doesn’t look up, and –

He breathes in, then he remembers that he could – he _could_ –

“Uh, wait – wait, yellow,” he manages to blurt out even if it’s an effort.

There’s a voice telling him _good job, now you ruined it, he’s going to call it quits when you actually were enjoying it, you could just have endured_ –

Robb moves back to his side at once, puts a hand to his cheek again and looks straight at him like he’s _relieved_?

What?

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that,” Robb mutters. “Never mind, I’ll explain you later. Okay. What was wrong? Tell me, it’s fine. I want you to.”

“I just –” How is he even supposed to explain it when he can barely form coherent sentences? “It’s – it’s fine if you’re on top. But – I need to see beyond you. Just – don’t –”

“Don’t take up the whole space?” Robb supplies.

“Yes,” he agrees – _yes he got it_.

Then Robb moves and presses over against his side, his ankle hooking around Theon’s, his hand on his hip.

“Is it better like this?”

“Yes,” he answers gratefully.

“Good. Thanks for telling me,” Robb says, and he sounds entirely serious, and any other time he’d have asked what for, but he can’t speak if not addressed and he’s entirely too worried getting back into that mindset he was in a moment ago to worry about it.

“Now I just want you to stay still,” Robb says. “Actually. Stay still and make as little noise as possible. My neighbors are in this evening. From the moment I touch your cock you can come, but not before then. Got it?”

“Green.” It feels like it’s another person talking, almost. He breathes in sharply when Robb kisses his cheek and moves down to his chin and his neck – he gets his shirt open meanwhile, running his fingers along the newly exposed skin, and Theon didn’t know what he was expecting but certainly not Robb just trailing kisses along his shoulder while he keeps his palm flat on his stomach. He can feel sounds fighting the way out of his throat and he keeps his mouth shut – maybe he lets out a sharp breath once in a while, but nothing more than that. He doesn’t know how long Robb just stays there petting him all over but by the time Robb yanks down his jeans he’s leaking, a lot, again, and at the same time he feels as if he could melt against that mattress – there’s not a tense muscle in his entire body.

“I’m very impressed,” Robb finally says. “That can’t have been too easy. Well then. Whenever you like.” 

Then Robb wraps his hand around his cock, gives it a few strokes and Theon doesn’t think he can hold on that long.

Then again, he _can_ , right? He’s way beyond reasoning on the logistics, and so he just lets go, never mind that Robb isn’t trying to draw it longer. He’s giving him quick, firm strokes, and he can’t possibly hold on any longer, and – and it’s even better than the last time, everything feels _good_ and soft and hazy and he leans back into the touch as Robb’s fingers caress his scalp again, as he says that he’s done so well and he can just let it go and rest, and so he does.

He opens his eyes to Robb propped on an elbow on his side. His wrists are free, his head is perfectly clear and it’s definitely still dark, and there isn’t a single sign on his skin that he actually was tied up to the bed until – he doesn’t even know how long ago.

“Are you all here?” Robb asks, sounding… maybe a bit concerned?

“What – what do you mean?” Theon asks. “Yes.”

“I mean, is everything clear? Differently than how you felt when we got here.”

He thinks about it for a moment. Oh. Maybe he gets it.

“Oh. Yes. Yes. It’s all clear now. Actually – not that I’m complaining, but what the hell was that? I mean, I don’t think that ever happened before?”

Robb’s eyes go slightly wider.

“That never happened before?”

“Uh, not really. Why do you look that worried?”

“It’s not that I’m worried. It’s just that – well, you went straight into subspace. Actually – you were quite deep into it by the time I tied you up. That was why I was glad that you safeworded, since I couldn’t exactly discuss everything in detail. That really never happened before? Because then – then I guess I really am good if you went down so quickly and it’s the second time we do this.”

Well, fuck. He tries to remember if that ever happened before, but – no. He never was so much into it that everything else faded away just like that. He always felt pretty aware of his surroundings. Never mind that in comparison to today or the time before, every session he’s ever had looks at least lackluster, not counting Ramsay Bolton. But that’s not really a decent comparison.

“No. Not like this, at least. I – I didn’t even know I’d do it.”

“I can guess.” Robb looks like someone who doesn’t know whether he should feel proud or worried. Then he shrugs and smirks, so Theon figures he opted for proud. “Well, I guess it went pretty well all things considered, but then next time we need to talk everything out a lot more in-depth before we start.”

Theon tries not to look elated at knowing that there will be a third time. “Meaning?”

“Meaning that I need to know what I’m allowed to do and what I’m not when you get like that. I don’t like to push boundaries with people who are that deep in subspace that I haven’t discussed before. Which is why I kept things simple.”

And that makes entirely too good sense. Except that –

“Wait. Wait a moment, did you –”

Robb raises a hand and – his cheeks flush. Quite some. “Er, yes. I didn’t really need a hand.”

“You mean –”

“Yes, I came the moment I started jerking off. Listen, it never happened to me to get someone under so quickly. I told you what gets me off.”

“Shit, I feel like I didn’t do any work, though.”

“You can make it up to me next time,” Robb smirks, and Theon smirks back – he likes this guy, damn it. Regardless of how good of a dom he is.

“Well. I suppose – it’s early. I can get off your hair now.”

“Spend the night if you want. Actually, I’d feel better if you did. I mean, it might seem to you like you’re fine now, but – you could drop later. Really. It’s no problem.”

The thing is that Robb looks genuinely concerned at that, and – well. It’s a reasonable offer. And he’s not in a hurry to go back to his crappy studio apartment that still looks like the day he walked into it.

“All right. Thanks.”

“No need. I’ll put the clothes in the wash, just grab a shirt and some sweats from the closet. Third drawer.”

He does just that – he ends up picking nondescript black sweats and a Star Wars shirt that has to be at least ten years old, considering that the washes are showing on Han Solo’s face. It’s slightly large on him, and pretty comfortable – he goes back to the bed, which is empty. He slides in and Robb comes into the room seconds later, turning off the light before sliding in as well. For a moment he doesn’t know what to expect, and then Robb’s arm goes around his waist and whatever tension he had left completely disappears.

He doesn’t let himself think _if only I could afford to get used to it_.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days later, he silences the part of him that says _if you keep on calling every few days you’ll come off as some desperate clingy idiot_ and calls Robb again. It’s not even that he feels wound up or that he physically needs someone to take his mind off things, it’s that – he kind of always hated that he could never feel wholly satisfied by vanilla sex, and then he never was with someone who put their enjoyment on the same level as his own. He never even thought he could do this so – so freely, knowing he’ll enjoy every second of it. So why not doing it, especially since for once he lucked out and found a guy with whom he’s actually compatible in bed?

Robb seems more than happy to see him that evening.

Theon isn’t as nervous as last time, and Robb insists that they eat something first, and no, without last time’s distraction. 

“It’s not that I didn’t like it, all the contrary, but I think this time we shouldn’t risk you going under before we actually talked it out,” Robb says, sounding kind of apologetic.

“No, it’s fine,” Theon agrees – that makes sense.

“Though I suppose that if you stay the night, we could do that for breakfast,” Robb adds, winking, and damn he needs to stop, because Theon’s blood went straight to his groin at that.

He eats his dinner.

Then they move to Robb’s living room.

“First thing,” Robb says, and thank fuck that he has no problem breaking the ice, because he would have never approached the subject first. “If you get like that again, and at this point I think there’s a high chance you might, what am I not allowed to do? If you go any deeper I don’t want to risk fucking it up.”

Theon is about to answer _what could you even get wrong_ , but then again Robb looks very determined about this.

If only he had a clue of what he wanted, since that actually never happened before.

“Er. Nothing that was checked in the soft limits, I guess? And – well, not – not being above me like yesterday. For the rest – I wouldn’t even know. I told you, yesterday was the first time. And – well. Uh. Shit, this is fucking embarrassing.”

He gasps when Robb’s hand reaches out and grabs the back of his neck softly again.

“How about you tell me. That’s fine. You don’t know what some people asked me to do.”

“Seriously?”

“I might have safeworded out of that at times. It’s fine. Go on.”

“I – uh, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t really mind if you pushed me some. Even if I was like that. I mean, I _liked_ it. I’ve done things I never really liked while being pretty aware of my surroundings, with people who really didn’t care whether I was into it, so – and I mean, as long as I’m doing things I like I don’t really mind if you order me around or anything like that.”

“So as long as they were four or five I’m safe and I could occasionally try a three if you don’t safeword out of it?”

“Pretty much,” Theon exhales.

Robb’s eyes go slightly darker.

“Well. You did say that you wanted to make up for not doing any work last time, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Theon replies, his throat already going dry.

“So what do you say if I tell you to go on your knees and use that mouth on me?”

He swallows. Fuck, _yes_. He’s been wanting to do it since the moment he saw the guy, or at least he’s been wanting to do that since before they went to Robb’s place for the first time.

“I say I’ve been told I’m very good at deep throating, _Robb_.”

The way Robb grins is positively illegal.

“Well then, how about you get over here and show me? You can’t use your hands. Unless there’s something I’m not supposed to do, and in this case tell me right now, get on with it.”

There’s absolutely nothing he won’t do when it comes to that kind of etiquette, and so he grins and moves down to his knees in a motion that is a lot more fluid than he’d have thought it would be. Considering how much he wants it.

He puts his hands behind his back and looks up – he was ready to use his teeth, but Robb isn’t expecting it of him since he’s pulling down his zipper and taking his cock out.

He smiles and gets down to it.

He presses a kiss to Robb’s knee before taking a deep breath and blowing over the head of his cock, and then he slowly, carefully runs his tongue under the head. Robb is half-hard already, and he curses under his breath at that – good. This is going to be good. He licks along the shaft once, twice, five times, always going as slow as possible, and once he nibbles very lightly at it – Robb curses again, louder. He’s also getting progressively harder, but Theon doesn’t make a full move until he starts leaking not long later – it only takes a few more rounds of that dance, and when he sees that he got there he grins again and takes the head into his mouth, slowly but surely.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Robb says loud enough that the neighbors probably hear it as Theon takes him in inch by inch – he moves until he finds the right angle and at that point he takes most of his cock in. If only he could use his hands, but it’s going to have to work.

“You weren’t joking when you said you could deep-throat,” Robb blurts from up above, and Theon would smile if only he technically couldn’t. So he sucks down on Robb’s cock instead, and Robb moans all over again before –

Before his fingers reach down and bury themselves in his hair, and yes, that’s exactly what he was hoping for.

“Damn, you’re _good_ –” Robb starts, almost panting. And then – then his fingers’ grip becomes tighter and he pushes and _yes yes yes finally_ , he had been hoping he would, mostly just to see how it would feel with someone he actually likes.

Turns out that Robb isn’t greedy at all – he fucks into his mouth slowly, still grabbing the back of his head and running his fingers through his hair when he’s not gripping at it, but he doesn’t cut his air off or pull hard enough to hurt, and shit but by the time he has stopped going slow and is sucking steadily and a bit quicker, he’s so much into it, it makes him feel almost dizzy all over again. He feels spit run down his chin as he takes in just a bit more, and Robb is full hard inside his mouth now, and he’s moaning so beautifully above him, that he can’t resist it. He looks up, and – Robb is looking at him with heavy-lidded blue eyes, his cheeks are flushed almost as red as his hair and he looks on the verge of coming.

“Fuck, look at you, you’re so _good_ for me, aren’t you?”

_Please keep talking_ , Theon thinks, _please yes just keep talking_. By now he’s barely even feeling what he’s doing – he’s going on muscle memory, and as far as the rest goes he can feel himself slipping the way he had yesterday, everything is starting to feel blurred except for how Robb’s hands on him feel and Robb’s voice above him and how Robb’s cock feels in his mouth, and he knows Robb’s about to come, he has to be close, and –

“I’m close,” Robb pants. “I can – pull out now if you don’t want to swallow,” he manages, and it sounds strained, and while he does like the perspective of Robb coming on his face maybe they can do it another time, because right now he really wants Robb to come in his mouth, damn it –

So he pulls back just slightly but not enough, and Robb obviously understands because he doesn’t pull out all the way, and then a moment later he’s spasming, his fingers pulling at Theon’s hair ever so slightly – and he comes, and he comes _hard_ for that matter. He was ready for it – he swallows most of it, though some runs down his chin and shit he must look disgusting, but he doesn’t really care, not when Robb’s coming this hard (so he must have done good), and when he looks so dazed as well (he really hopes he did) and so he just waits until Robb’s completely spent before pulling away, though not so much. As he leans back, he knows he’s going right there again. He can barely notice his surroundings, but he also can feel every little movement of Robb’s fingertips on his scalp, and he knows that his own jeans feel restraining and that he’s plenty hard himself, but somehow it really doesn’t matter in the great scheme of things.

Not when Robb’s looking down at him like he’s been given the best head of his life.

Robb takes a few deep breaths before moving a bit, his hands still not moving from his hair.

“Fuck,” he mutters again. “Anyone’s ever told you that you’re a miracle worker?”

Theon shakes his head once – he’s been told a lot of things after performing the same service so far, but none of them was that. Or at least, the sentiment was never that one.

“Too bad,” Robb keeps on, “because damn it but you _are_. Give me your hands.”

Theon unclasps them and does, and then Robb tugs at them and somehow when he next blinks he’s sitting on Robb’s lap, his legs dangling around Robb’s, his fingertips linked with Robb’s on the sofa. He’s still hard, he realizes, but the way he’s feeling, he could stand it for a very long time.

A moment later, Robb moves one of his hands up, his index finger wiping at the stickiness on his chin, and he looks like he’s about to move it away, but there’s no need – he leans down, running his tongue over it before Robb breaks contact, and Robb’s eyes go slightly darker as he pushes it into his mouth. When it’s clean, Robb takes it out, but then he wipes at his face again with his middle as well and pushes them both into his mouth, and he takes both in with a pleased sigh. He’s still feeling like he’s floating, and the feeling lasts even as Robb takes his fingers away when they’re thoroughly clean.

He doesn’t have time to moan at the loss – a moment later Robb’s palm is cradling his cheeks and Robb is pulling his head down for a kiss.

A long, slow kiss that makes him feel even more boneless, for that matter. He’s not even trying to hold himself up anymore – he’s definitely putting all his weight on Robb, but Robb isn’t telling him not to, is he?

He feels Robb’s hands moving as they kiss, he feels them so very sharply, and he sighs into the kiss when Robb sneaks one arm around his waist, holding him steady, while the other goes to the button of his jeans.

Then he breaks the kiss, but he doesn’t move away. Rather, he presses his mouth to Theon’s cheek before putting his lips against the shell of his ear.

“Do you even know how close you are?”

He shakes his head – he knows he’s achingly hard, but it feels like something he can perfectly keep under control for the moment. Not the least because it’s ingrained, by this point, but he couldn’t articulate that even if he tried.

“Well, I know,” Robb presses on. “And you’ve done so well, I think you don’t need to wait that much longer.”

Fine. Maybe he whines at that. He’s way beyond caring.

“I was thinking,” Robb says as his hand pulls his jeans open and his fingers find his cock, “that I want you to let it go for me right now. And I don’t want you to hold back. Because after that, I want to bring this to the shower and I _would_ really like to open you up and see if I can bring you off again. Sounds like a plan to you?”

“Fuck, yes, please,” he manages, and how can he even speak if Robb is running his fingertips under his balls?

“Good. Then what’s stopping you?”

Nothing is.

By the time he’s somewhat back to consciousness and panting pretty damn hard, his stomach is completely sticky, most clothing the two of them had on is dirty and his cock is lying completely spent in Robb’s hand, and when Robb tries to fondle him again he shudders bodily, but his erection merely twitches. He feels like he’s on fire, and at the same time everything looks even hazier than before. Except for Robb, of course, but that goes unsaid.

He feels Robb’s clean hand reach up and smooth a few strands of sweaty hair back from his forehead. Shit, he’s wrecked.

But he’s not letting himself check out.

Then Robb moves his hands so that he’s holding on to his neck.

“Right. Just hold on to me,” Robb tells him, and –

And then Robb picks him up by the legs and damn but he’s stronger than he looks even if he does look pretty well-off in that department, and before he’s even made sense of it in his head, Robb is dropping him on his feet very carefully inside his shower. Then he’s pulling off all of their clothes. Then he’s turning on the water, grabbing a bar of soap and cleaning the worst off the both of them. Theon lets him, and he moans whenever Robb’s hands run along his chest and back, and by the time one of Robb’s thoroughly soaped up fingertips is at his opening he feels so warm and pliant that it barely even hurts.

Robb goes slow, not pulling in a second finger until the first slides in and out easily, and then he has two in, and he’s hitting _just the right spot_ and Theon isn’t sure he can keep his hands on the tile in front of him anymore because he’s getting hard again, and when he does Robb wraps a hand around his erection and strokes on time with his fingers and –

He’s not even sure he can see straight. The blue and white tiles in front of him are merging into a clearer azure and he’s moaning shamelessly, and how did he get to this point he doesn’t even know but he’s really glad he got here at all.

“I’m going to line up against you,” Robb says. “And I’m not going to fuck you, just so you know what to expect. You can let go when I do. Ready?”

“Yes,” he manages, and he doesn’t even know if it came out garbled or not, but then he feels Robb’s cock press against his ass and he’s gone all over again, and it’s not really a surprise that his legs give out, but Robb is holding him up and so he doesn’t let himself think about it.

When he blinks his eyelids, he’s lying on Robb’s bed, wearing what seems like a pair of Robb’s pajamas – he supposes, it’s soft cloth and it’s slightly large on him – and he still feels like everything is completely soft and hazy, and maybe he’s hurting in all the right places but it’s nothing terrible or not manageable, and then he realizes that he has his head on Robb’s thigh and Robb is petting his hair all over again.

“You can go back to sleep,” he says. “You did great.” He sounds like he means it, too, and so he closes his eyes and does.

\--

The following morning, he wakes up to an empty bed again, his head feels perfectly clear, he’s not aching that much all things considered, and Robb is – again – cooking breakfast. It’s eggs and bacon this time, though.

He definitely looks like someone who’s had a great time.

“Slept well?” He asks with the tone of someone who already knows the answer.

“I feel like you don’t deserve an answer,” Theon replies, and – Robb snorts, and for a moment Theon had worried he’d take it wrong, but he definitely seems to be the kind of guy who keeps what happens in the bedroom entirely separate from their normal interactions and he’s not expecting him to be deferential or something.

It makes him feel a lot better about this entire deal.

“I probably don’t,” Robb agrees. “I gather you’re feeling fine?”

“Understatement,” Theon mutters as he grabs a seat. “If you’re about to ask me if you should have done something differently, the answer’s no.”

“Good. Well, yesterday’s offer still stands,” Robb says cheerfully as he drops a plate of eggs and bacon on the table.

Yesterday’s –

_Oh_.

“Does it?”

“Sure. Though – no need for all that formality.”

“Meaning?”

“You can just sit and I won’t be personally offended.”

Then he winks again.

Christ, if only he wasn’t still moderately hurting from yesterday he wouldn’t say no to a morning quickie, but he needs to pretend he have some control here.

Still, that sounds intriguing.

“Fine.”

He swallows, then goes for the floor and sits down cross-legged. On second thought, he turns his back to Robb and presses it against one of the chair’s legs.

He doesn’t drop, thankfully, but it’s still damn nice – Robb feeds him bits of bacon by hand while he uses a fork for the eggs, and he’s entirely too willing to lick his fingertips clean from the grease every time his teeth close around a strip of bacon. It’s still early, so the room is flooded in a warm pink light, he likes how quiet and intimate it feels, his hand wrapped around Robb’s bare calf and Robb’s free hand still carding through his hair when he doesn’t need it to cut the bacon.

He feels a lot more rested than usual when he goes to work half an hour later, and he tries not to overthink it, but – well. He’ll look forward to the next time they do it and he won’t let pessimism get to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** : this is the part I was discussing in the original A/N - nothing sexual happens because Theon gets triggered and safewords out of the scene, and it's all relatively tame and I didn't go into explicit details about the backstory, but it's in here if you want to skip - you can just go to the next -- paragraph break in case.

Of course, the next time they do it, the shoe sort of drops.

At least he finally realizes why Robb is so bent on talking out every detail he can possibly think of before they start – and he only has himself to blame for that, what news.

When Robb asks him if he felt like trying something out, he goes through his list of things that he thought he might have liked if only he hadn’t been doing them with jerks. And maybe he should have gone for a less potentially disastrous option, but – until done everything’s gone so well, so what possibly could happen?

So he tells Robb that he wouldn’t mind if he talked dirty to him some. Robb warns him that he’s hardly the best at that kind of thing but of course he’s willing to give it a go, and is there something he should not say?

Theon is resolutely looking at the tablecloth when he says _whore would be a bad idea_. Then he swallows and adds, _nothing related to animals_. And by then he knows he’s blushing like crazy, and – well, that’s the most common stuff. He highly doubts anyone would even think of the kind of shit Ramsay used to blurt at him, so he should be safe.

Robb asks if there _really_ is nothing else.

Theon says that no, of course there isn’t.

And it all goes swimmingly until the shoe does, in fact, drop.

It’s obvious that he’s definitely more into being described all the filthy things that Robb might do to him than Robb is into describing them in the first place, but he’s not half-bad at it, and he’s doing exactly everything he could ask for – nothing degrading, no _whore_ , nothing that isn’t working for him, until –

“Want me to fuck you then?” Robb says from above him, almost sweetly. “You know, no need to be shy. I can smell it on you, damn, you reek of it –“

The moment the damned word leaves Robb’s mouth he feels like a bucket of ice has been dumped on his head, and he goes rigid at once, and suddenly everything is wrong and he needs to breathe and he needs – he needs to – he doesn’t even _know_ –

Robb stops at once the moment he notices. And then –

“Red,” he says, and one part of him is expecting Robb to ignore it because it’s not like he’s ever safeworded like this once in his life so he doesn’t even know what he should be braced for.

Robb gets off him a split second later, and he looks worried out of his mind and of course he would be, because he’s shaking all over and he’s sure there’s cold sweat all over his face and he can’t breathe even if there’s nothing stopping him and shit he’s hyperventilating, he’s gone and fucked it all up and –

Suddenly he feels fingertips pressing against his wrist, squeezing just once.

“Theon. You didn’t do anything wrong and I need you to take a breath, all right? One.”

He can do that, he thinks. And shit, did he talk out loud? Of course he did, of course –

No. No, if he starts with that it’s just going to get worse. He takes a breath. Air in, air out, it’s harder than he thought it would be but Robb squeezes his wrist again when he’s done.

“Good. Take another. And when you’re done take a third. It’s fine. Just do it. Go slow, okay?”

He does, and he’s pretty sure that his eyes are burning as he manages the fifth, but he’s not shaking half as hard as he was before, so he supposes that’s something.

“Great. You’re doing great. Can I move in front of you?”

Why is he even asking?

“Don’t tell me yes if you don’t want me to.”

He nods – he has no problem with that out of everything.

A moment later, Robb is in front of him again, at a safe distance though, still only touching him on the wrist. And he’s still shaking.

“Can I touch you? Just below the elbow. Don’t nod. Either you say it or I don’t move any closer, but it’s fine. Whatever you want.”

“No, it’s – it’s fine,” he manages, hating how much his voice is shaking.

Robb’s other hand reaches out and closes gently around his elbow, and the second does the same, but that’s all he does. Theon doesn’t even know what the hell he was expecting but it wasn’t this.

“Just – give me ten minutes,” he says after another few labored breaths. “I mean, I’m sorry, I didn’t –“

“Theon, slow down.” Robb looks still worried out of his mind, and of course he would, but –

“Listen, just take your time, but please tell me where I went wrong. We’re not doing anything else tonight – and don’t say you’re sorry about it.”

He swallows. He still feels like he should be sorry for having gone and fucked everything up, but he’s entirely not fine right now and he – he can’t even begin to sort his own shit out. Never mind that Robb deserves to know that he wasn’t the one who made the mistake here.

“It was my fault,” he finally starts, and shakes his head when Robb looks like he’s about to protest. “No, it was. I mean. The part where you went wrong. You couldn’t know because I was an idiot and didn’t tell you, so – it wasn’t _you_.”

“Okay. Okay, got it, but what was it?”

“Just.” He tries to say it, but he can’t even say the damned word. “The last thing you said. Shit, I can’t even say it out loud, I’m –“

“Stop. It’s fine.” Robb pauses, obviously trying to remember what he had actually said. “Not the part about being shy, right?”

“No.”

“Wait. When I said you ree –“

He flinches before Robb even speaks the word.

“Okay, okay, I’m not saying it again.” Robb squeezes at his arms again. “Got it. That one. Can you tell me why or you’d rather not?”

“Did – did Ygritte tell you about the guy she banned?” At least he can still put a sentence together.

“She did. Not going into details, but she did.”

“Well, I might have dumped him after – I can’t go into details, but – he locked me in his basement for a week without letting me wash and the last few days he called me like that.”

He dares glancing at Robb after blurting that out, expecting the other shoe to drop for good.

But then.

Robb gives him a firm nod, lets him go, stands up and tells him he’ll be back in a moment.

Theon is too dumbfounded to say anything in response, and then after a minute or so Robb is back with –

With _towels_?

Violet, fluffy towels for that matter. And there are clean pajamas on top of them.

“Now,” he says, “I’m in no way telling you what you should do, and for the love of everything tell me no if you don’t want to, but –“

“No, just – I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do here, shit –“

Robb drops the towels in his lap.

“You know where the bathroom is. Take a hot shower.”

“What?”

“Take as long as you’d like. When you’re done put the clothes on and get back here. I’d come with you but I have a feeling you don’t need anyone crowding you right now. And before you ask, I’m not angry or anything, all right? Just go.”

“Shouldn’t we talk –“

“We talked long enough for now. We can talk again later. Go.”

He nods, not knowing what else to do, and he heads for the bathroom.

He takes the shower. He stays in there for enough time that his fingertips are completely wrinkled when he walks out, and his hair smells like Robb’s – he used the only shampoo around so it stands to reason – and it should make him feel… well, he doesn’t know how, but it actually makes him feel slightly more grounded. He resolutely tries to not think about anything as he dries himself with the damned fluffy towels and puts on the pajamas Robb left him. He doesn’t even bother drying his hair – it’s hot enough that it’ll dry itself in half an hour, and – well. He feels marginally better. At least he’s not shaking anymore. He still feels ridiculously ashamed though, and now that his head is somewhat clearer he can see why Robb always wants to talk shit out in depth.

He also feels like a complete idiot because after all he wouldn’t have needed to explain anything. He could have just told not to say the damned word under any circumstance and Robb wouldn’t have even asked for an explanation.

By the time he drags himself out of the bathroom, he still feels like utter shit, never mind that he really should apologize for not having put all the cards on the table. He also doesn’t know what to expect when he walks back inside the bedroom.

But it’s not what he finds.

Robb has changed the sheets on the bed and changed into his own pajamas, so he definitely meant it when he said they were done for this time. Fuck, he hopes they’re not done forever. He also must have opened the windows for a bit, because it doesn’t smell like they were just about to fuck not even an hour ago.

And – there’s a tray with a kettle, an empty cup of tea and a couple lemon muffins on the nightstand.

What –

“Feeling any better?” Robb asks, standing up from the armchair he had been sitting in.

“Yeah, definitely. I just, uh –“

“Later. Just get back into bed. And no, nothing’s happening.”

Theon doesn’t comment on it and does. A moment later, Robb puts the tray on his lap – the cup of tea is full now.

“Okay. Now, we will talk, some, because you’re definitely not up for hashing everything out, but before then – trust me, it helps.”

Theon doesn’t ask him how he’d know that, but then again his stomach feels ridiculously empty and he could do with eating, and so he drinks his tea and eats the lemon muffins and when he’s done he feels slightly less shitty. Which is definitely something.

“Any better?”

“Yes. Uh, thanks, I just – I don’t even know why I’m reacting like this, I shouldn’t –“

“Theon. The only thing you might have done wrong here was not telling me that I shouldn’t have said that, considering the number it’s pulling on you, but – I get it. It’s fine. We can talk about it for real tomorrow morning, but for now just don’t worry about it. Now, if you think you aren’t spending the night you’re sorely wrong because I’m not letting you out of here when you’re wired up like this, but if you’d rather sleep alone I’ll take the couch.”

“No,” he replies without even thinking about it. “Don’t – you don’t have to. It’s fine. Actually, it would be a very bad idea if you took the couch, I think.”

“All right.”

“Unless you want to – I mean –”

Robb’s eyes go narrow at once, and then he shakes his head and moves closer, their sides touching – just that, though.

“Right now the only thing I want to do is make sure you’re fine.”

“I’m –”

“ _Theon_.”

“Right. No, I’m not, but – it’s not like you signed up for dealing with my crap, I just shouldn’t have –”

“We really need to discuss this tomorrow and you really need to stop thinking I might be disappointed in how this turned out, okay?”

“How did you –”

“Tomorrow.”

And then – Robb moves slightly closer and puts an arm around him.

“Is it fine?”

“Uh. Yes? Why wouldn’t it be?”

“All right. Just try to relax. Everything’s fine. And regardless of what you’re thinking right now, you’re doing great. You did great.”

“I didn’t –”

“Just trust me on that. You did.”

“… For real?”

“For real.”

He doesn’t know how, but he breathes out and lets his head drop on Robb’s shoulder – he likes the closeness, and when Robb’s hand reaches up and starts carding through his hair he nestles closer, relishing the way it’s preventing his brain to go into overdrive, and he closes his eyes.

\--

He wakes up with his legs tangled with Robb’s, Robb’s fingertips still brushing at his scalp, and while his head is still slightly pounding, he feels a lot better than he had thought he would.

He groans, moving back a bit, and Robb wakes up along with him, and – he smiles a very small but very relieved grin, and right, Theon is done trying to make sense of this. 

“So,” Robb says, “do you want to have that talk now or after coffee? I’m asking because you look like you’re pretty itching for it.”

And maybe it should be better to have that coffee before, but – but he thinks he needs to have it out in the open now. Even if he just woke up.

“Now, thanks. Unless you prefer –”

“I can have it now. So, let’s just have it out in the open – I’m nowhere near angry or disappointed or whatever it is you think I’m supposed to be.”

“You should,” Theon sighs. “I just – it was my fault. If I had just done things the way you said and told you instead of feeling ashamed about it, it wouldn’t have happened at all.”

“I can hardly think it’s your fault when you’ve been with four other people and you didn’t even have a safeword, you know.”

“What?”

“Come on, that’s the basics. And I saw that when you safeworded you had no idea of what I was going to do. And that’s not your fault, it’s on whichever idiot took advantage of you first.”

“It wasn’t – I was into it?”

“You might have been into it but if someone doesn’t even ask you for a safeword they’re taking advantage of you, and if they don’t after they realize the previous person didn’t do it, then they’re worse.”

Well, that – that makes sense, and he doesn’t even know how he should process it, but still –

“And you don’t have to say anything about that. Just think about it when I’m not around.”

Thank fuck for that.

“Right. Okay. I can do that. Still, I didn’t – I should have told you.”

“You should have, yes. You can do it next time, though.”

“Wait, next time?”

“Why, you thought I wouldn’t be interested anymore? Come on, who does that?”

He doesn’t stop himself from flinching, even if he tries hard not to.

Robb isn’t half-smiling anymore at that.

“Let me guess, someone you knew?”

He takes a deep breath. “The banned guy. I mean. At times I did sort of say that I didn’t exactly like whatever he wanted to do and he’d answer that if I couldn’t handle something that stupid then why was he wasting time with me?”

Robb shakes his head at that, looking down at the sheets in between them, and he looks like he’s on his way to getting really pissed off, but – not at him? Or at least it doesn’t seem like it, and –

Then Robb takes a couple breaths and looks back up at him. And he doesn’t look angry now. 

“Well, case is, I actually do like you, so how about you stop thinking it’s going to take me that little to get bored? Because I’m not.”

“Wait, you – you’re not – you _like_ me?”

“’Course I do, do you think I sleep with people I don’t like?”

And he looks maybe a bit amused now, his eyes so very blue in the morning light, and Theon had sworn to himself that he’d keep things businesslike in case he ever found someone to sleep with, but – but the feeling has been itching at him for a while, and with what Robb just said –

He doesn’t know that he’s covered Robb’s hand with his own until he’s done that.

“Feel free to say no if it’s not what you’re looking for, but maybe – would you like to go out sometime? I mean, not for – for this.”

“Oh, are you asking me out properly?”

“Feels kind of stupid, all things considered, but –”

“Yes,” Robb interrupts him.

“What?”

“Yes, of course I’d like to _go out sometime_. I might have been wanting to ask you at some point soon, so – yeah. Sure. Just say when.”

Maybe they should have talked more. They probably will. He reaches out and kisses Robb instead, as he has absolutely no other answer to that.


	5. Chapter 5

They go decide to go see some movie the following afternoon and grab dinner later.

The irrational fear that what they might do in the bedroom could carry out to real life disappears after ten minutes – Robb doesn’t look at all interested in doing it at all. Different from pretty much everyone else he’s ever been with for that matter. He doesn’t comment on his food choices or clothing choices or anything, and they’re on an entirely equal footing, and by the time they’re making out in the last row while not paying attention at all to whichever movie they picked – Theon doesn’t even remember the title – he’s not even thinking remotely about how they met in the first place.

When they walk out of the cinema holding hands and not remembering a thing about the movie’s plot, he figures it wouldn’t be pushing it to ask Robb up for a drink, and Robb says yes. It ends with the two of them making a mess of Theon’s sheets, but it’s nothing hardcore – just Robb fucking into him without fuss and without taking charge of things – and while that kind of fucking never did much for him before now, it’s nice. He likes it a lot more than he’s ever liked it with anyone else.

Robb doesn’t spend the night on account of having to go to work early the next day and his place being a lot nearer, but he says he’d be delighted to buy him dinner tomorrow and Theon spends the rest of the night pinching himself and wondering how he lucked out this much.

\--

Robb buys him dinner at a nice Japanese restaurant halfway between their apartments.

He also asks Theon if he should get a drink or not.

For a moment Theon doesn’t get it, and then he remembers that _he doesn’t drink before a scene_ and Christ, he thinks that if he’s not a little bit in love then he doesn’t know what he is.

He asks himself if he’s up for it.

Then again, if they do it he’s resolving to do everything by the book, and he really would like to make it up for the spectacular fail of last time.

“Unless you want one, I think you shouldn’t,” he finally answers, and he’s never seen anyone look so happy about drinking soda in his entire life.

\--

By the time they’re back to Robb’s place, he feels – fine. They ate enough, and he doesn’t have any lingering anxiety – he’s determined to get it right this round and now that he knows that even if shit goes wrong again he’s not going to drive Robb off, because he’d have to really be an idiot to keep on assuming that, he’s nowhere near as worried as he was last time.

Still, he figures that since until now they did what he liked, they should even the ground.

“So, I was thinking,” he starts as Robb closes the door.

“Yes?”

“Well. Until now – it always was about what I wanted to try out. And – I figured you must have one of those check lists too, don’t you?”

Robb stops for a moment, looking – not surprised. Quite pleased, actually. “Of course I have it. It goes both ways, right?”

“Uh, then – there has to be something you would like to try out, right? I mean, if you could compromise for the dirty talk thing I suppose I might compromise for something else.”

Robb stares at him for a moment, and then –

“What if we don’t have to compromise?”

“Meaning?”

Robb smirks and says he’ll be back soon. He does, and hands Theon a neatly filled check list.

“Go ahead,” he says, still smiling.

Theon swallows and reads the list. Everything that Robb had told him wouldn’t work for him is indeed checked, and that’s good to know since it’s stuff he’s not ever going to try out in his life. And good thing that _hard beating_ is also checked under hard limit.

He swallows when he sees that _orgasm control_ is checked as a four – he knows even too well that his own check list has the same rating on _orgasm denial_. Which could be good and all, but then he sees that _crossdressing_ has a five.

And he knows what his own checklist said about corsets and lingerie, which he has never tried with anyone ever – not that they ever let him propose anything, but he’d have never tried to suggest that in the first place.

“Uhm,” he says, his throat going suddenly dry, “when you say that crossdressing is a five –”

“I mean that wearing women’s clothes does absolutely nothing for me, but having sex with someone who is? Definitely a five.”

“I – I guess that then next time we might then?”

“I say that next time we have a date,” Robb winks. “But do go on.”

He does.

Then he sees the five next to _mirrors_.

He swallows – he had rated it four but said he wouldn’t do it the first few times, and that was mostly because he wasn’t sure he could take looking at himself while doing it just then. The idea is hot, and he definitely had been into it before Ramsay, so –

So why not.

“I see what you meant,” he says, handing the sheet back.

“So how about I take my time with you in front of that mirror in my bedroom and I drag it out?”

Shit, he’s getting hard just thinking about it.

“I say I’m entirely on board.”

“Okay. Is there anything I should know beforehand?”

He swallows – his first instinct was saying no, but he’s going to think hard about it and make an effort. He doesn’t want to end up like last time again.

“You can say whatever you want, but – er – keep any comment whatsoever positive? Other that – well. Not saying that, but I guess that went unsaid.”

“Obviously. Anything else?”

“Not that I can think of. I guess – if it comes up while we’re doing it –”

“Of course you can tell me then.”

“Well. Then I think it’s all.”

And he means it, at least.

“Good. Then go in the bedroom and strip. I don’t want you wearing anything when I come in. I have to get stuff from the bathroom and then I’ll be there. Got it?”

“Got it.”

He hurries to the bedroom and strips as quickly as he can – he leaves the clothes half-folded on the first free chair he sees. Robb walks back into the room seconds later. Completely clothed except that he’s barefoot.

“Nice,” he says approvingly before moving closer.

Theon takes a deep breath and lets Robb turn him towards the mirror after he drops a handful of – things on the bed. He has no clue of what’s in there other than lube and condoms, but he supposes he’ll find out soon.

When they’re both staring at themselves in the mirror, Robb’s chin on his shoulder and his arm around his waist, Robb grabs something from his pocket, and –

Well, shit. He really hopes Robb keeps whatever sex stuff he owns in a locked drawer, because if anyone using the bathroom found themselves looking at cock rings while searching for a towel he supposes they’d be in for a trip.

“So,” Robb says, “while I have no doubts that you don’t need one to come when I say, I’d like it if you didn’t have to concentrate on that. Of course, if you’d rather not wear it, that’s fine as well. Yes or no?”

He thinks about it for a moment – it’s not that he particularly minds that kind of stuff. Actually, he thinks it’s about the only kind of plastic no one has stuck on him until now. Also, he definitely could do without, but if Robb wants to try them out then there has to be a reason, and he doubts it’s going to be a problem, so why not.

“Green,” he settles on.

Robb presses a kiss to the back of his neck before slipping the ring on, and good thing he did it now when he’s barely half-hard. Then he takes a step back, putting his hands on his sides. And Theon knows he’s probably noticing the very faint whip marks he still has on his back.

He can’t help closing his eyes when Robb’s mouth touches the top of one of them, and he knows he might be trembling, but it’s not like he can stop it.

“Eyes open,” Robb murmurs as he leans back before pressing a line of kisses down his back, following the same whip mark, and – and shit, he has to try, so he opens his eyes and watches himself flushing as Robb’s hands grab his sides still.

It’s almost possessive. And shit, he thinks he likes it.

Robb moves to the whip mark next to the one he had been trailing and does the same going upwards, until Theon can see his head in the mirror again.

“You took a shower before going out, didn’t you?” Robb asks a moment later.

_What_?

“Yes,” Theon replies truthfully. He did.

“What I thought. Your body wash smells really good,” Robb comments, one of his hands moving forward, his palm touching Theon’s stomach and pulling him back against his chest.

“Uh, thank you?” Theon doesn’t have a clue of where this is going, but what else should he even answer?

“Do you think I don’t notice that you take this kind of thing seriously?”

He doesn’t answer – he doesn’t even know what to say. He flushes harder instead – it’s not like he’s not aware of that, and like he hasn’t got his share of shit for it, but –

“I like it,” Robb interrupts.

He doesn’t ask _what did I just hear_ just because he knows it’s not the kind of allowed response right now.

“Really. I like someone who actually takes five minutes to dress nicely. I wish I had any sort of fashion sense, as my sister puts it. There’s absolutely nothing I don’t like about it.”

“Least I could do,” he blurts, hoping that it was allowed.

“Oh, so you put extra effort in it for me?” Robb answers, sounding very pleased about it.

“I might have?” It’s true. He did pay extra attention, the two times they actually went out.

“Good. Aren’t you a sight,” he says, and then –

Theon legitimately moans and barely manages to keep his eyes open as Robb bites softly down on his shoulder.

When he moves away, there’s a blaring red hickey on his skin and his knees are slightly weaker than before.

“I think I’m going to give you another one,” Robb informs him, and it doesn’t sound much up for discussion. “How about _that_?”

“ _Please_ ,” he moans, and – yes, while he doesn’t want it to be visible, he wants to have it so bad he could burst with it.

Robb grins and bites down softly at the hollow of his neck again, and then at the side, until Theon is all but squirming against him and barely standing up.

Good thing that Robb is holding him up, his arm still wrapped around Theon’s chest. He closes his eyes in automatic as Robb runs his tongue along the bite, and then –

Robb’s free hand smacks lightly at his hip.

“I never said you could close your eyes.”

He opens them again at once, though he ends up looking downwards, at Robb’s hand still curled around his side, and he gasps when he gets another light smack for it.

“I also never said you could look down. The mirror’s there for a reason. Eyes up.”

He swallows and complies a moment later, even if the idea of looking at himself throughout this entire ordeal doesn’t sound this great – he doesn’t exactly relish the idea, but he was asked and he’s going to go through with it. He looks flushed, his cheeks a deep shade of pink, and then Robb raises his head from his shoulder and squeezes at his side instead.

“Good. Now keep them open. There you go, just like that.”

He’d like to ask why is it that he has to be naked while Robb keeps his clothes on, but he keeps his mouth shut as Robb reaches down into his pocket and takes out a small lube bottle, popping it open and pouring some on his fingertips while still keeping his arm around Theon’s waist. He whimpers when those fingertips touch his opening just a bit – Robb is definitely prodding but not going any further. He wants to close his eyes, he really does, but he swallows and keeps them open as he watches his face on the mirror grow more flushed and his pupils become a bit wider.

“Good,” Robb says as he finally pushes a bit in, and he flushes even harder. “Now I want you to put your hands on the sides of the mirror. Eyes open still. That’s great, just like that.”

The mirror is cold under his hands, but he’s too distracted by Robb’s fingertips slowly sliding inside him to pay that much attention. He keeps on looking straight ahead – the mirror becomes foggy as he breathes out on the surface but he can still see that his mouth is hanging slightly open and that his cheeks are still that shade of deep pink, and he can see Robb’s red hair behind his shoulder as he slowly keeps on working him open. He’s not pushing that much forward though, which is weird, but –

“Now, I need a moment here, but I want you to keep looking ahead while I’m busy. And I want you to keep your eyes open throughout the rest, because I won’t be able to remind you. Think you can do that?”

“Yes,” he answers, hoping that whatever Robb has in mind won’t be the kind of thing that makes him forget instructions. But he doesn’t want to forget the damned instructions. He wants to do this to the letter.

“Good.” Robb kisses the back of his neck once, and then he’s gone and Theon sees him open a condom, which is nothing he hadn’t expected – however, Robb doesn’t put it on. Instead, he grabs a pair of scissors from his pocket, cuts off the tip and the band, then cuts down one side of it and –

He puts in between his teeth.

_He can’t seriously be thinking of_ – Theon starts thinking, and then Robb is on his knees behind him, his hands back on Theon’s hips, and _ohshithewasthinkingofexactlythatthing_ which was a hypothetical four on Theon’s checklist with the added explanation of ‘it sounds like something I might enjoy but no one ever did it for me before so I have no idea’, and a moment later his tongue is licking around Theon’s opening and he moans loud enough that it almost startles him.

But he doesn’t close his eyes, and then Robb does it again, and again, his tongue pushing in deeper, and _that_ is when Theon realizes at once that he’s so hard it aches, but at the same time –

Right. He can’t even think about coming when he has the ring on.

Now he gets why Robb didn’t want him to be distracted. And then he moans again, and again, as Robb’s tongue works its way inside little by little, and he keeps his eyes on the foggy mirror – the fact that he can only see things blurred makes it slightly easier to take the picture in, but even with that he can see that he must look completely wrecked, and his hands are pressing on the mirror hard enough that his fingertips are white, and damn but four didn’t cover it, this is definitely a five if there was one, and when he glances down at his cock he can see that he’d be bursting if he physically couldn’t.

He doesn’t know how long Robb goes on, but he keeps at it long enough before he leans back and Theon whimpers out loud at the loss. He can hear Robb chuckle as he stands up again after spitting out his makeshift dam – he puts his chin back on Theon’s shoulder, his arm back around his waist. And then he reaches out with the other hand and wipes out the mirror – well, _shit_ , Robb looks as wrecked as him, his cheeks a shade of red that might look a bit too close to his own hair, not that Theon’s much better off. Theon might be shaking with the need to let go, but he doesn’t say a thing as Robb brushes a few sweaty strands away from his forehead.

“Hey,” he says, “you’ve done so well up until this point, I just need you to do a couple more things now.”

He nods against the side of Robb’s head – he figures it’s enough. He’s entirely beyond coming up with a complete sentence right now. He’s also this close to checking out for real and Robb probably knows that, too.

“I know that you’re this close, but since I want you to come in my mouth, I need you to hold out on it until it’s time. I’m going to take this off you, and then you’re going to sit on the bed and I’m going to suck you off and _then_ you can come. And I want you to look in the mirror that entire time. That okay with you?”

“Green,” he answers at once without even thinking about it. Just the idea is making his knees so weak he could fall down, and he sees Robb openly smirking as he reaches down and takes the ring off him.

Shit.

Shit. He doesn’t come out of sheer force of will, but he manages, and then Robb pushes him back on the bed and kneels in between his legs and takes him into his mouth, as much as he can, and Theon looks back at the mirror and sees it happening and –

And he just can’t keep himself in check anymore – at the second swipe of Robb’s tongue against the head of his cock he comes so hard that he almost blacks out, but instead of blacking out he just stares at the mirror, at Robb’s head in between his thighs and at the two red spots blossoming on the side of his neck, and he’s not even sure he can see straight after a moment or two but he doesn’t close his eyes then, and he doesn’t close them when he’s finally spent and feeling like he could drop down on the bed and sleep for two weeks straight, and he keeps them open as Robb moves up on the bed, his mouth and chin completely sticky with come, and of course it happened at some point in between and there’s nothing he can focus on other than Robb’s face while the rest of the room looks completely hazy by this point.

Robb moves up his hand to wipe at his face but he manages to reach up and stop him from doing it, and Robb looks down at him for a moment before smirking and moving close enough to kiss.

He doesn’t do it, though, which is all good because Theon can work on using his tongue to get rid of the mess on his face, and he moans in contentment when Robb starts carding through his hair while he’s doing it, one hand running through it and the other cradling the back of his head.

They’re definitely doing this again.

Soon.

\--

The next morning, before he has to leave, he can’t help asking the question.

“So,” he says as he puts on his coat, “were you serious about – you know, the whole crossdressing thing?”

Robb’s eyes seem to become two darker shades of blue in the span of a moment.

“I never joke about this kind of thing.”

“Okay. Uh. What kind of clothes you were thinking of?”

“I’m not picky,” Robb answers, still sipping at his coffee as if this was a perfectly ordinary conversation. “However, I do enjoy some nice lingerie, if you get my meaning.”

Theon gets it perfectly.

There’s also a Victoria’s Secret shop two blocks from his office. When he gets off work, he takes a couple deep breaths, walks inside and goes up to the first salesgirl he sees, tells her that his girlfriend’s birthday is in a week and can she give him some advice about maybe a nice set of panties and maybe some stockings to buy her? The salesgirl beams at him and tells him that she might have just what he needs, and he hopes he manages to keep a straight face as he tells her his own measures when she asks what size he needs.


	6. Chapter 6

When he knocks on Robb’s door the next day, he’s clutching his Victoria’s Secret bag to his chest and feeling ridiculously self-conscious.

Robb merely glances at it and looks very fine with it, at least.

“Went shopping?” He asks, sounding like he approves.

“Uh. I might have. Damn, I didn’t think – did you want to do it yourself?”

“I’m not that kind of control freak. I want to do that if you want me to, otherwise why should I? You have to wear that stuff, not me.”

“Right. Uh. I’ll go – I’ll go change then?”

“I’ll wait in the bedroom.”

Theon hurries to the bathroom – he sheds his clothes and underwear and pulls on the azure satin panties he picked in a hurry – it’s not an overtly frilly pair, but it has a smidge of lace, and a small bow on the front, and shit is he really doing this – he needs to stop thinking too hard about it. He pulls on the stockings – he picked them light grey and thigh-high, and then he knows he’s blushing crimson as he grabs the chemise that was paired with the panties (there also was a matching bra which he bought because he pretended it was all for his girlfriend and had to get the whole set, but that’s safely back at his place), but – he liked it. It was so very soft, and he just really liked the way it looked while on the rack. He puts it on, relishing how nice it feels against his back, and then –

Then he grabs the smaller bag that he had brought along and heads for the bedroom.

Robb is indeed sitting on the bed, and his eyes go wide the moment he sees him come in.

“Well, wow,” he says when Theon doesn’t take a step forward. “Get over here already. I don’t know what you’re embarrassed about but – just don’t be.”

Theon swallows and walks straight until he’s in front of Robb. He wets his lips. Then.

“I thought you might like to do the honors,” he blurts, dropping the bag with the make-up kit and a couple bottles of nail polish into Robb’s lap.

Robb’s eyes go even wider when he sees the contents, but he looks definitely intrigued.

“Gladly,” he says when he has assessed what’s exactly inside.

“Do – do whatever you want,” Theon says as he kneels down in between Robb’s legs – he figures it’s the most comfortable position.

“Here’s to you not regretting it, I hope.” Robb takes a good look at the bag’s contents. Then.

“How about you close your eyes.”

He does at once. He pays close attention at the beginning – Robb is definitely using some eye-shadow, and other than that he feels a brush that has to belong to the eyeliner delicately scraping his lashes, and by then everything has started to become hazy again. He’s not seeing anything yet, and he can only focus on the way Robb’s fingers hold up his face as he applies whatever he is applying to his skin, and it feels warm and nice and he knows he might be slipping under already but he honestly doesn’t care.

“Give me your left hand,” Robb says after a while, and he does without need to further prompting. He knows Robb is using the nail polish, he can feel the brush over his nails, but he’s still focusing more on Robb’s fingers holding his hand still, first one and then the other.

He hears it when Robb puts the bag away, and he keeps his eyes closed until further instruction.

Then.

“You can open your eyes and look at your left.”

Where the mirror is.

He swallows and does and –

He hadn’t thought Robb would actually know how to do it, but he does. His eyes are shadowed in blue and the black eyeliner isn’t smudged at all, neither it trembles. It looks good. Really good. Almost professional. His lashes look even longer now that Robb carefully applied mascara on them, and there isn’t a smudge on his dark blue nails either.

“My sister is a pro at this kind of thing,” Robb says when he notices that he’s impressed at his make-up applying skills. “And don’t you look real pretty like this. No, you can’t speak if it’s to say I’m wrong.”

He promptly closes his mouth. He doesn’t see it – he doesn’t look bad, of course, and he likes the feeling of everything on him, but he’d never describe himself using that kind of word.

He stays still as Robb’s hands go to his cheeks, tilting his head up – he lets him, and damn but the careful way Robb does this kind of thing never fails to get to him.

“I think,” he says after a moment, “that today I might want you to lay back and let me do all the work. Get up here.”

He does, not even thinking about questioning it and pointing out to Robb that he should be doing something – he’s not going to question the basic plan unless he really wouldn’t like it, and nothing suggests he might not.

So he lies down on his back, his head falling down on the pillow, and waits for Robb to get up on the bed as well – he does the same a beat later, after grabbing something from the nightstand’s drawer.

“I just want you to stay still,” Robb tells him then. “You can touch me if you want and if the situation permits you, but other than that, don’t move. If I need you in another position I can worry about it myself. Oh, and you don’t have to come when I say. Just let go when you want to. I might want to see how many times I can bring you off,” he adds, and damn him he winks, and Theon is so on board with it, he can’t say green quickly enough.

Robb kisses him then, the long and filthy kind of kiss that would have turned his knees weak if he hadn’t been lying down, his thumbs digging circles into Theon’s hips, before Robb breaks off the kiss and starts trailing smaller ones along his collarbone, and then his shoulder – when he bites down all over again Theon can’t keep in the moan escaping his lips, and arches his neck so that Robb can have better access.

“And aren’t you so _good_ to me,” Robb says when there’s a love bite on his neck that would definitely take a scarf to cover. He kisses it, then leans back a bit and straddles him, without his knees touching Theon’s sides directly – Theon doesn’t know how he manages to keep himself as still as it goes while Robb’s fingertips rub gently along his chest, and the thing is that he’s not taking the chemise off, so he feels all of that soft silk pressing against his skin and it feels so good, he can’t stop himself from saying _yes please go on_. And Robb doesn’t stop him, so he figures it’s fine if he speaks in this circumstance. He almost jerks upwards when Robb’s hand finally reaches his underwear, and damn but the way he smirks when he sees how damp the silk panties are already is a sight.

“Woah, and you’re this wet for me already?” Robb reaches out and touches his cock through the silk, making his hips arch up and doing nothing to defuse the situation. If anything, the contrary.

Then he gives it a stroke, then two, then three, and the intention is obviously there – he’s not drawing it out. And this entire situation is getting to his head quickly, and he has permission, and so when Robb drags the panties down enough to expose his erection, he doesn’t even think before letting go all over Robb’s hand, and he can barely distinguish Robb telling him to go on. When he knows he’s done for the moment, the entire room feels so blurred he can barely distinguish anything – the way Robb is smiling above him, though, is perfectly clear.

He licks his lips as he stares at Robb’s hand and Robb smiles knowingly. “Not yet,” he says, but not yet doesn’t mean never, does it?

And then he touches his spent cock again, with that hand.

“Be a darling and let’s see if you can do that again, even if I doubt you’ll have a problem.”

He jerks upwards again, unable to stop his hips from doing it, and his cheeks feel on fire, but – the moment Robb said that he just couldn’t not, and –

“Did you like that?” Robb asks, and how does he not miss anything? “Do you like it if I call you _darling_?”

He wants to answer, but his throat is completely dry – the way he’s getting harder again, though, definitely is speaking for itself.

“Looks like you do.” Robb keeps on jerking him off so very slowly – now he wants to drag it out. He stops when he’s not quite ready to come but when he’s hard enough that he can feel it. Then he leans back and pulls the panties back up – fuck, they’ll have to be completely ruined by now. And maybe he’s not quite about to come yet but he’s leaking a whole damn lot and he can feel every moment of it.

Robb leans down and kisses him before he can think about that too much, and damn but he’s rubbing his crotch against Theon’s, and he can feel how hard Robb is through his jeans.

“You know,” Robb says when he moves away, and it sounds positively filthy, “I’ve done this with girls who weren’t half as wet for me as you are right now. And they were plenty into it.”

He swallows, and maybe he’s feeling kind of proud instead of ashamed like he’d have thought one hour ago, and damn but Robb looks like it’s the best thing that happened to him all month and how are you even ashamed when someone looks at you like this?

Then Robb grins and moves back down and mouths at his cock through the wet silk and shit, he has to jerk his hips upwards.

“Down,” Robb says while his hands push him back onto the mattress, but he looks smug rather than displeased. At least that. Then he grabs at his hip and turns him so that he’s lying on his stomach. For a moment he does nothing, and Theon figures it’s his way out, but he thinks he’s fine, so he doesn’t stop him. He can feel Robb spreading his legs slowly, running his fingertips along his stockings first, and he kind of expects it when he feels Robb’s lubed finger slip a bit inside him.

He isn’t expecting Robb to draw that out, but he does instead. Five minutes later and he’s still used just one finger, slipping it inside and out, and every time it’s slicker than the first – when he finally pushes it all the way inside and hits just the right spot, it goes in so smoothly he barely feels it.

But he feels that all right, and before he knows it, he’s moved just a bit, but enough to give his cock friction, and he’s coming all over the sheets and the damned panties and Robb is still pushing that finger inside and out while the other hand runs through his hair soothingly, and he knows he’s beyond putting a sentence together at that point. Not that Robb is asking him to. Shit, he feels so loose and boneless that he could melt right down into the mattress, never mind the wet spot he’s lying in.

“And there you go,” Robb says from somewhere behind him. “But I can bet you can come a third time.”

Theon isn’t sure of that at all, but far from him to say no.

“We’ll see, I guess. Now be a darling again and stay like this.”

He couldn’t move if he wanted to, and he shivers minutely at that, and then he stays put. He groans when Robb pushes a second finger in, as slick as the first one, and by the time the third joins in he’s minutely writhing on the bed again and he’s sure Robb must have used an entire bottle of lube because there’s no other explanation for how easily he’s sliding those fingers in and out. And he takes care to hit that spot oh-so-slowly every time, and Theon doesn’t know how the guy manages to go at it long enough that his cock comes plenty back to life – it wasn’t five minutes for sure. He’s completely lost track of time when Robb turns him on his back again, and glances down at him as if he’s entirely satisfied with the way he looks.

“You don’t even know how well you’re doing,” he whispers against his mouth, and he whines when Robb kisses him the moment after he says it.

“And I can’t wait to see how loose you’ll be for me when I fuck you.”

It turns out, a lot. The moment Robb pushes inside him, he does it with one long, slow thrust that’s met with absolutely zero resistance. Never mind that he’s never been this stretched out in his life, Robb really used up most of the lube, and he goes with it when Robb lifts up his legs so that they’re wrapped around his back as he slides in and out. And the thing is that he doesn’t go any faster – he just makes sure that every time he thrusts, he thrusts in deep.

By the fifth thrust, Theon is so far gone that he’s even beyond sore. He’s beyond anything except feeling so good he could burst with it – he keens with every thrust, and he doesn’t even care that sitting will hurt like a bitch tomorrow. Hell, even if he couldn’t walk for the next few days it would be entirely worth it, and it’s not just that it feels amazing, it’s that meanwhile Robb hasn’t stopped kissing him all over or petting at his hair or at his side or nibbling at his neck. Like it doesn’t matter that he’s come twice, he still wants him to be there all along, and he’s so sensitive to it by now that he can feel every brush of Robb’s fingertips against his cheek – when Robb lets out a moan that entirely shows how much he's enjoying this, and then buries himself in as deep as it goes and comes with a shudder, he doesn’t even try to stop himself from echoing it, and he’s entirely not surprised when that makes him become even harder. He’s still hard when Robb pulls out and drops on his side, his hand still grabbing at his hip.

His eyes are so very blue as he shakes his head, breathes in and takes in his current state.

“But look at it,” he breathes out, “seems like you can use a hand. Or something else.”

Theon doesn’t even have a chance to react – Robb has moved and taken him in his mouth seconds later, and – that’s it, he can’t even try to hold on, and at the second swipe of Robb’s tongue he comes again, not as hard as before and not as strongly, but he does, and then he closes his eyes and just lets himself go.

He breathes in deep as Robb moves to his side again, and when he sits up against the headboard he moves so that his head ends up pillowed on Robb’s thigh, and a moment later he sighs contently when Robb’s hand starts stroking through his hair again. He feels sore all over but it’s the good kind of, and maybe he whines a bit when Robb moves away.

Robb just laughs. “I’m coming back in a moment,” he says, “but you really want to clean up right now. Wait there.”

He does, not minding that the wet spot he’s in is really wet, and when Robb comes back he stays pliant as he turns him over and runs a wet cloth over his legs and his back. When he’s done, Robb climbs back up on the bed and dabs at his eyes with something that has to be cleansing lotion. It doesn’t take him much – his head is back on Robb’s thigh just a bit later.

He falls asleep as Robb’s fingers card through his hair again.


	7. Chapter 7

Three weeks later, he’s sitting at the end of the table at his uncle’s and he’s about at the end of this wits. He’d have rather spent the week-end doing something with Robb, but no, it’s bloody uncle Victarion’s birthday and he’s stuck there because God forbid he bails out of some family gathering.

The funny thing is that all his uncles like Theon’s father, but they all hate each other and Theon has no fucking clue why they all want the charade to go on, but still, he had to come. And Asha was clearly put on the other side of the table, because God forbid again that he could sit next to the one relative  
that he actually has a healthy relationship with.

He dodges all the questions about his personal life, eats fish that he hates – why does it always have to be swordfish all the time, shit – and after he’s glared at about fifteen people no one tries to talk to him anymore.

It goes swimmingly like this for a couple hours until his uncle Euron switches places with some long-lost cousin whose name Theon doesn’t remember and says that _they totally have to catch up, how much time it’s been since they talked to each other_?

One year, Theon thinks, and he’d have been glad to go another ten without interacting with his uncle for that matter. He keeps on dodging questions more or less skillfully until –

“And how is that guy you were seeing?”

“What?”

“The one you were with at that restaurant. He looked interesting,” Euron says, and –

Right. The last time they talked to each other was a year ago, when Euron ran into him and Ramsay at a restaurant where Theon didn’t have anything to eat.

And he can bet that the fucker didn’t miss that.

“We broke up,” Theon answers flatly.

“What a pity. You didn’t look that unhappy.”

“Well, case is, I was.” Damn. Theon doesn’t want to go into this at all, especially with the one relative of his that’s completely fucking bonkers.

“So _you_ broke it off?” And it sounds mildly disapproving.

“I’m seeing someone else now and I’m plenty fine with it. Actually, I need to go to the bathroom. If you’ll excuse me,” he says, and then he stands up and gets the fuck out of the room. Then he finds a bathroom. Then he locks himself in, takes his phone out and calls Robb, trying not to think about how pathetic that might come off. He needs to talk to someone that he actually trusts to have his back in this situation, and it can't be his sister, not when other relatives of theirs would hear it.

Robb picks up at the second ring.

“Hey. The family gathering is that bad?”

“You don’t even want to know. Now I’m stuck with the uncle who actually liked that psycho I used to date.”

“Who, the last one?”

“Yeah. He can’t shut up about wanting to know why we split up. Let’s just hope my father didn’t hear it.”

“That bad?”

“Well, the guy was the son of some other guy my dad could do business with, so he was very disappointed when I broke it off. You know. Why couldn’t I think of the greater good.”

Robb doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then.

“You can’t get out, can you?”

“I’m stuck here at least for another couple hours. I just figured I could take five minutes to talk to someone who actually cares about my side of things.”

“You said two hours?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Do you think you could put up with them without wanting to punch anyone if I come get you with some excuse?”

“What?”

“I have nothing to do – I was supposed to go to the cinema with Jon but Ygritte asked him to cover for the other bartender who got sick or something. I can drive down there, get you and then you decide what to do? If you want me to stick to some story, just tell me what it should be.”

For a moment he feels almost dizzy – damn, that sounds like a pretty sweet prospect, and he could endure two more hours knowing that not only he can blow this joint after but that he might be in for blowing off some steam.

Then – right. He probably would be better off thinking up some excuse to justify Robb’s presence to everyone, but – well. Asha knows and she didn’t say it out loud, but she made him understand that she entirely approved, and it’s not like he gives a shit about what anyone else thinks. It’s not like they don’t hate him on principle.

“You know, fuck it. Just come up to the table and if anyone asks you, we’re seeing each other. Who even gives a damn.”

“Why, I’ll be more than happy to. So, directions?”

Theon grins and tells him.

He comes back to the table and he spends the next two hours dodging questions with a lot less annoyance.

Meanwhile, he thinks about Robb’s checklist. He read it enough times in the last couple days, figuring that he could try something that Robb likes but that he particularly doesn’t if only because he knows that nipple clamps and using plugs are both a solid two on Robb’s list but he still doesn’t mind doing either when Theon feels like it. Figuring out what he should do about it is definitely more entertaining than actually listening to the chatter.

He’s sort of maybe reached a decision when he hears a car stopping outside Victarion’s fancy terribly decadent two-story house, and just after cake has been served. Good thing, because he hates red velvet and clearly every fucking year it’s red velvet. Clearly hoping his relatives remembered that he doesn’t eat cheese – not even in cake toppings – is too much.

So he goes and pushes his slice towards some five year old son of some cousin of his dad’s – he doesn’t even know the kid’s name but he’s elated at it, so why the hell not. Then he stands up.

“Well, sorry but I have to go,” he says as he sees Robb walk up towards the gate without trying to knock.

At that, the table goes silent. But then again the rules are that no one leaves until cake is served in these occasions, and cake has been served.

“Why so soon?” Victarion asks, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t care either way.

“I had arrangements for the evening. Happy birthday,” he says, hoping that it drips contempt, and then he grabs his jacket and heads for the gate without saying goodbye to anyone else – he can text Asha later.

“And who is that?”

Clearly the moment Theon is out of the gate and Robb started heading back to the car, his father had to step in.

Robb glances at him, but Theon shakes his head and then turns towards the garden.

“Told you I was seeing someone,” he shouts back, and then he grabs the lapels of Robb’s shirt and drags him forward, kissing him shortly but soundly.

“Let’s get the hell out of here before they react,” Theon whispers the moment he’s done, and Robb grins, grabs his hand and leads him to the car.

A minute later, while he’s still laughing, his cellphone rings.

_Looks like a real nice guy. A bit too nice for me but well done._

He does not tell Robb of Asha’s impression of him and turns off the phone.

Then he takes a breath and decides that he should probably share with the class.

“Well, thanks for the heroic rescuing.”

“No problem at all. So, anything particular you want to do?”

“Uhm, did you have anything to drink?”

Robb glances at him, grins and then turns back to the road. “I didn’t. Why, are you up for some fun?”

“After this afternoon I need to check out. Damn, I really have to. That said – uhm. Well. I thought – maybe it’s time I compromise a bit.”

“You know that –”

“Come on, I can push my limits a bit. I know that nipple clamps are a two for you and you still have a pair in that drawer of yours since I like it. It goes both ways, right?”

Robb breathes out and stares straight at the road. “Well, if you’re up for it and you’re doing it because you feel like it, I’m more than amenable. Were you thinking of something?”

Actually, yes. There were two fives on Robb’s list that were a two on his, and two just because he kind of enjoyed both before Ramsay. Then after Ramsay the mere idea was enough to send him into a panic. But – well. At worse, they can just stop, right?

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who likes doing it in public,” Theon finally manages to say. It was the one that he almost checked as one. He might as well go with it. “I mean, you don’t feel like a show-off.”

“Because I’m not. That’s not why I like it.”

“Uhm. Okay, so why would you?”

“You know what gets me off, right?”

“Yeah, and?”

“Well, someone trusting me enough to do right by them in public… there are a few things that would top that.”

“Like blindfolding someone maybe?”

“Like that, yes. But you don’t have to do either if you don’t think you’d like it. Or that you wouldn’t hate it, at most.”

He knows an out when he sees it.

But – well, he might as well say the entire thing.

“Well, I suppose I wouldn’t hate either, since I was kind of fine with both before – well, before the creep. I mean, I wasn’t into doing the both of them, but they were all right. Then the creep happened and it changed things, but – I don’t see why we couldn’t try. Well. Within reason.”

Robb gives him a terse nod and then he eyes an empty parking place – he goes for it and parks the car.

“Okay. I’m listening. I can’t have this conversation while driving.”

“Right. Sure. Er, well, I suppose you should decide which one?”

“No, you do. It’s true that we’ve done things I don’t care about because you liked them, but it wasn’t stuff that was potentially triggering to me, so I’m not going to push you towards one of them. It’s all good as far as I’m concerned.”

… And that makes sense too, damn him. Well, okay then. Since the idea of not seeing anything entirely trumps the idea of people seeing him when talking about sheer terror, there’s no question.

“Fine. Then – in public.”

Theon can sense the moment Robb’s cheek flush a bit harder. Damn, if just thinking about it is making him look like this…

“Okay. What’s your _within reason_?”

Damn, he hates saying this kind of stuff out loud, but now that he knows what’s the deal, he forces himself to.

“Not – not people we’d see in other occasions. I mean. Not your friends. Or something like that.”

“We could go back at the _Wall_. They have a room just for that. I mean, I know these people in the sense that I might have spoken to them while getting a drink, but that’s all.”

He ponders the option for a moment – he knows some people there, too, and Snow is gonna be there, but Jon has seen him in a lot more embarrassing situations for that matter, and it’s not like he doesn’t know.

“Sounds reasonable. Okay, I can handle that.”

“What else?”

“Uhm. No sharing. I mean, I know you aren’t into that, but I mean – really no sharing. Not even someone else touching me by mistake or something like that. If I manage to get into it and someone who isn’t you is in the picture I don’t think it would end well.”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have even considered it.”

“Uh. What?”

“You listed sharing as a hard limit, do you think I’d have thought about that?”

“… Right. And – nothing too extreme? I mean, can you just stick to vanilla stuff?”

“Theon, as far as I’m concerned we can go there and book a stall, and then we can both stay clothed there and do nothing but kissing. I don’t need to go through the whole kamasutra in public to make my point.”

“Well, not _that_ much vanilla, but – yeah. That.”

“Would you rather keep clothes on?”

“What?”

“Looks to me like I can guess why you don’t want me to do certain things and I somehow think that the creeper didn’t let you wear anything. Could be enough of a difference to avoid freaking out.”

Thing is, it makes sense, but he does want to push at his limits a bit.

“Well, maybe if I kept some on it would be nice, but like, I don’t need to have all of them on.”

“Duly noted. Anything else?”

“All the usual warnings apply?”

Robb snorts and puts the car in motion. “I hadn’t thought they wouldn’t. Oh, by the way, look in the back.”

Theon turns and sees a small black bag on the backseat. He reaches out and takes it.

“You need something from inside this?”

“No, it’s for you. I figured that you might have needed a pick me up after the day you had.”

Theon glances at the bag before opening it and – isn’t that the name of some small lingerie shop near Robb’s place? He opens the bag with some trepidation and –

Damn. It’s a pair of dark blue satin panties, with just a tiny bit of lace at the hems and a small bow on the front, and it’s a good pair. His lips go dry just at the idea of wearing them.

“Well. Uh. Wow. If you wanted it to work, it is working.”

Robb smirks again at that, as if he’s glad to have confirmed that he got it right, and –

“If – let’s say that I wear these but that I don’t take my jeans off.”

“I say that if you want to do it I’m entirely fine with it.”

Shit, just the idea is sending his blood rushing downstairs.

“I think you should drive a bit faster,” Theon croaks, and Robb smiles again and does.

When he parks outside the _Wall_ , he turns towards Theon, looking utterly serious.

“Right. I’m going to talk to Ygritte and see what she can find us – while I’m doing that, go to the bathroom and put those on. Take your time and if I’m not already outside just wait for me. Good for now?”

“Plenty good. Go ahead.”

“One thing – how much did you eat at the birthday party?”

Theon shrugs. “The minimum I could while getting away with it. I hate fish and I hate fucking red velvet with cheese frosting, so I just had the necessary fish and stopped there.”

“Right. Okay, off you go.”

Theon flips him off and hurries to the bathroom.

It takes him entirely too long to just get out of his jeans, put on the panties and pull the jeans back on, but he doesn’t dwell on how painstakingly slow he had gone.

When he walks out of the stall, Robb is leaning outside the wall.

“So?” He asks, trying to behave normally and not to give out to everyone else coming inside that he’s wearing fucking satin panties.

“Good thing it’s mid-week and the room I was thinking of isn’t completely booked. I think it’s an option… within reason, but if there’s even just one thing not convincing you, say it. All right?”

“Right. Crystal clear. Lead the way.”

He follows Robb until they get to the second floor, where he admittedly never set foot once – he knows enough of the first, but he never was here. When they step off the elevator, they walk through a short hallway until they reach a door. Robb pushes it open and –

Damn. For a moment he feels dizzy enough to faint. The entire room is bathed in soft red light and it’s – well, a bar pretty much like the one downstairs, except that you can’t stand. It’s all small stalls that could house at most three people, though they’re big enough that someone could kneel under the table comfortably. Or even outside it, for that matter.

All the stalls are far enough from each other to prevent occasional contact. And just a quarter of them is actually occupied. By people who are, well, engaged in various activities.

“Does this work for you?”

Theon thinks about it and – well. It looks safe enough.

“Green,” he finally settles on.

Robb licks his lips for a fraction of a moment before nodding back.

“Okay. Then take off your shoes and your shirt and we can go. Just hand them over here.”

Theon takes off shoes and shirt, passes them to Robb and waits for him to put them wherever and come back. When he does, he looks straight ahead as Robb puts a hand on the small of his back and steers him towards one of the booths. He slides in first.

“Sit however you want.”

He thinks about it one split second, then decides that looking at other people is not an option and drops down kneeling on the ground – the carpet is very soft, he notices the moment his knees touch the floor.

He highly doubts that he’s going to be able to relax enough to stop being completely aware of his surroundings, but as long as he doesn’t freak out it should be fine. So he breathes in and looks down at the carpet and waits for instructions.

“Did you eat at all this afternoon?” Robb asks a moment later – he’s standing behind him.

“Some,” he answers truthfully. “Well, mostly the vegetables that were supposed to go with the fish.”

“So it’s like you didn’t. Fine. Stay there a minute. I’ll be right back.”

He is in fact right back – Theon isn’t sure that a minute has even passed. He hears Robb walking on his side and then he sits so that his left leg is right against Theon’s right side. Then – then he pushes the table out of the way.

Then.

“If you want to move, you can ask now.”

He thinks about it one second and then he figures that there’s no point in pretending that the less aware of his surroundings he is, the better.

“If – in between your legs. Please.”

“If you ask so nicely,” Robb replies, and spreads them on cue. The moment he’s moved there and he can feel Robb’s ankles pressing just a bit against his side, his shoulders sag down in relief.

He looks up at Robb, who seems pensive. And a moment later –

“Come closer,” he says, and Theon, does, and then Robb moves his legs over Theon’s shoulders, his crossed calves pressing against the small of his back, and yes, that’s a whole lot better.

“Give me a color?”

“Green,” he answers at once, his head now stuck in between Robb’s thighs – he can hardly move, but it’s – it’s fine. It’s good. He’d rather feel grounded. Extra grounded.

One of Robb’s hands goes to the back of his head and he closes his eyes without even thinking about it, relishing the moment he starts pushing circles into his skin. He’s still entirely too aware that they’re in public but it doesn’t matter that much for now.

“Open up,” Robb says, breaking that chain of thoughts, and he does without even thinking about it.

Just to feel a small piece of cheese-less pizza being pushed in between his lips.

“You said you didn’t eat, right? Well, that won’t do.”

He doesn’t question it – he is kind of hungry, now that he lets himself notice it, and so he chews and swallows and opens up again before dutifully taking the next piece from Robb’s fingers. He could kiss Robb for going for something this familiar, he really could, but it’s not like he can now, so he settles on finishing whatever Robb feeds him. When he’s done with the pizza, he starts feeding him pieces of chocolate cake that leave his fingers somewhat very dirty, and so when Robb warns that it’s the last one and if he wants one more slice he should ask for it, he doesn’t ask for another but rather licks his fingers clean instead.

He can almost literally feel Robb’s hips jerk at that, not much but enough that he can feel it. If only his head was pressed up against Robb’s groin, which he really would prefer right now –

That train of thought stops when the hand Robb had been keeping at the back of his head starts moving again, fingers running all over his scalp again.

Then he does push his face forward so that Theon’s cheek is pressing against his cock and –

Wow. Fuck. Theon hadn’t thought he’d get this hard from just this small display but he feels like he’s moments from coming, and how does Robb manage not to let it show on his face?

“Just to make sure you actually realize what this is doing to me,” Robb says, his voice so low that Theon can barely hear it. Shit, he sounds wrecked. “Now, I know what you’ve been staring at. Do you think you can manage sucking me off without making me come?”

“I can try?” He figures answering truthfully is a better option than saying yes for sure. Because he has no clue if he can manage it.

“Fair enough,” Robb laughs. “Then have a go at it.”

He opens up his jeans and pulls his dick out, and shit this really must be getting to him. He doesn’t know how he’ll manage to make him not come, but he’s going to try. He takes in a deep breath and puts his mouth on it, trying to avoid all the areas that he figured are extra sensitive. He sticks on giving tiny licks here and there rather than trying to take Robb into his mouth at once – he can’t take him deep like this.

After a while, though, Robb’s erection has flagged just a little bit. He didn’t come, at least. So Theon figures he’ll have to make due and takes the tip inside his mouth, still licking around the head as slowly as he can manage, and he’s so focused on it he’s almost forgotten that –

“Doesn’t it seem like you lucked out,” someone he doesn’t know at all says from somewhere behind them.

_Shit. They’re in public._

He goes still at once, but then the hand Robb was keeping in his hair, hold loose, resumes carding through it again and the other goes on his neck, pressing him just a bit closer.

“I did,” Robb answers calmly, still petting at his hair.

“I’ve rarely seen someone that well behaved. And good-looking to boot.”

What? Well. At least that’s a compliment. He supposes.

“You won’t find me disagreeing, I really lucked out.”

“I don’t suppose you’d consider sharing, do you?”

 _Shitshitshit that’s what he was dreading_. He doesn’t safeword just because he wants to hear the answer first and he really hopes there’s no need to.

“Sorry, not happening. No sharing and no touching.”

“Not even –”

“There aren’t exceptional circumstances, I’m afraid. If you want to watch the show you’re welcome to since we’re here, but anything else is off-limits.”

For a moment, there’s silence. Then.

“Sure. Well, can’t blame me for trying, right?”

“Of course not. Have a good time.”

“I’d say the same, but it looks like you both have that covered.”

The other guy leaves and Theon doesn’t even –

He knew Robb wasn’t going to back out on the limits they set, but he hadn’t anticipated that someone actually would have challenged them, and – and he did _exactly what Theon hoped he would_ and suddenly the part of him that was still on high alert relaxes completely.

“Everything all right?” Robb asks from above him, and it would take too long to move away and actually answer, so he just takes more of his dick in his mouth and keeps on doing exactly what he had been doing before. He’s not even thinking about anything else now, and he’s entirely concentrated on his task when the second stranger walks by.

“- He looks good at it,” he hears, and he almost chokes at that.

Robb’s fingers grip at his hair tighter.

“He is, and I’m sorry that you’ll never get to try it out, but I don’t share.”

Theon is about to lean back and say thanks, at least, not even because he thinks he should (Robb never wants to be thanked for anything), but because Robb doesn’t even get what it’s doing to him.

Shit, until the first guy came round he was too nervous and still on edge and so he hadn’t even been hard, or not enough to notice, but now he can feel his cock starting to strain in his underwear and he feels himself completely losing his grip – he knows that if a third person does his there’s a good chance he’ll just quit worrying about anything and go straight into subspace, and that should be enough to make him bolt or at least ask Robb to slow down.

Instead he feels fine. Perfectly fine. Maybe still a bit on edge, but still fine.

Then the third person shows up.

And – it’s a woman.

“I don’t suppose you’re looking for someone to join in, aren’t you?” She asks, and Theon would have held his breath but he’s not even caring right now.

He doesn’t know how Robb manages not to sound breathless as he answers, so very nicely but firmly, “Sorry but we’re not. And I doubt we’ll be at any point.”

“Well then, don’t let this one escape. He looks plenty good with that mouth.” Then she murmurs something about the cute ones being all taken and – and he knew, that’s it, everything is becoming sort of glassy and the only two things he can focus on are the feel or Robb’s cock in his mouth and Robb’s hands in his hair and he doesn’t even care that at least three people must be watching them.

“Damn, look at you,” Robb whispers, his thumbs running over his cheeks now – shit, he can barely breathe and he can feel spit all over his chin and he still doesn’t really care at all. “If you don’t want me to come on your face tell me, because I really want to do that right now.”

For some reason, it sounds like the best idea Robb ever had, and so he says nothing as Robb moves back and pulls out – he breathes in while Robb strokes himself quickly twice, and then he closes his eyes because it won’t be long, and before he’s thought that Robb is coming all over his cheek, warm and fast and sticky and he’s loving every damned second of it. Who even cares that he must look like a wreck and that most of the room is seeing it – they can only watch, can they?

He finds himself breathing in and out and staying perfectly still as Robb cups the back of his face he doesn’t know how long later before he moves closer and their foreheads touch.

“If I say that I want you to ride me right now, what would you say?”

He moans, not even caring that in order for that to happen Robb should be hard and he’s just come. “Please,” he blurts out, and maybe he should be worried about how needy that sounded but he’s hard as well now, and he can start to see the appeal of Robb properly grinding against him in front of other people who can’t touch at all.

“Okay. Okay, come on up, but – wait a moment.”

Theon stays still and looks up at Robb, who proceeds on taking off his shirt and then motions for him to hold out his arms – he does and Robb puts the shirt on him. He doesn’t button it and Theon doesn’t attempt to, and –

Oh. He said he wanted clothes on. And if they fuck he will have to at least get rid of the jeans he’s wearing.

He didn’t know someone could get this overwhelmed, but now he does. Because he is. He’s completely overwhelmed by how good this is turning out to be and at how much Robb seems to be able to read his moods and by pretty much everything, so he tries not to let himself dwell on anything and lets Robb help him up, then he pushes off his jeans but not the underwear, and sits down on Robb’s lap a lot less gracefully than he’d have liked.

Doesn’t seem like Robb cares though, not when he grabs the sides of his own shirt and drags him down for a kiss. A very thorough kiss, never mind that his face is still sticky with come.

Goes unsaid that the panties he was wearing are soaking wet.

“I suppose you have no idea of how gorgeous you look, don’t you?”

Robb should not say this kind of shit with a hand down his underwear, while he’s kissing him again and keeping his hand at the back of his neck.

But he is, and he can’t even think about disagreeing since he’s about to fall apart right now.

“But I think you might have an idea of the effect you’re having on me,” Robb whispers in his ear before grinding up against him and –

Shit, he must have a hell of a refractory period if he’s already getting it up.

“Well, we’ve also been doing this for ten minutes,” Robb says, sounding amused, and – well, damn. Not only he didn’t realize that he spoke out loud but he also lost track of time as well? “But I’ll take that as a compliment. Sorry I can’t go the whole way, but then again I wouldn’t want to lose these, so I guess it’s a win.”

He strokes his cock again and okay, fine, he keens at that, and pretty damn loud, but he’s entirely beyond caring.

“I just wish you could see how good you look in them,” Robb says sweetly as he gives him another stroke. “Damn, and you’re so fucking wet for me. And you can’t see the five people looking over here wishing they were in my place, but I assure you they’re there.”

“Wouldn’t want anyone else,” he slurs without even pondering if he should have spoken at all.

“Yeah?” Robb gives his cock another slow stroke and then moves so that they’re grinding against each other, satin against foreskin, and Theon groans in pleasure without even trying to damp it down. “All mine then? I like the sound of that. Sometimes you just make me want to bite down where everyone else could see it. Just so that they’d know.”

And the thing is that it looks like a perfectly amazing idea right now. He wants Robb to do it, even if he knows that he just said it for show – he’s getting somewhat better at this dirty talk business and he tries, and they do have a limit of no hickeys where people can see as far as Theon is concerned.

Fuck it. “Do it then,” he says, opening his eyes and focusing on the sharp blue around Robb’s dark, blown pupils. Everything else still looks fuzzy and completely out of reach.

“Wait, for real?” Robb asks, and for a moment he’s breaking character, looking both thrilled and concerned, and damn but it’s that face that decides it for good.

“Really. Just – do it,” Theon blurts out, and Robb gives him a tiny nod and brings his head downwards, his lips pressing against the shell of his ear.

“Whenever you want to let go, you can,” he whispers, and then he moves his head down and bites softly at the flesh on the right side of his neck, his teeth grasping skin carefully – it doesn’t even hurt. Then he does it again and sucks on it, and then he _runs his tongue over it_ and Theon can’t keep himself together anymore – he comes in a rush, the panties still pulled up and Robb’s arms around his waist keeping him steady, all this while Robb is still sucking at that piece of skin, and he hadn’t realized it could feel this good but it can and –

He comes back to his senses, sort of, feeling sticky and with his skin itching, Robb’s arms still looped around his waist and Robb’s mouth still touching the hickey he undoubtedly left there. Everything is still fuzzy everywhere except for Robb’s face and the sensation of his hands grounding him.

But the thing is that Robb’s hold isn’t just firm, it’s darned fucking possessive as if he’s daring anyone brushing by to intrude on what they’re actually doing right now, and Theon isn’t even sure that he can process this now or before the next two weeks.

“Hey,” he says a moment later. “They have showers here. You should definitely clean up.”

“Forget it,” he slurs. He can’t even stand, let alone get to the showers.

“What if I brought you?”

“That I could consider.”

“Good. Just hold on then,” he says, entirely cheerfully, and then he stands up and grabs him under his thighs and shit, Robb is a damned high school librarian, how does he have those muscles?

“Try hauling books everywhere for eight hours five days each week,” Robb laughs against his cheek, and Theon just stops caring and lets him deal with everything.

The next twenty minutes or so are a total blur – he’s aware of standing in a shower, of Robb drying off the both of them and of having put on clean clothes, but that’s it. When he really comes back to most of his senses, he’s huddled against Robb in the back of Robb’s car, he’s wearing clean clothes and normal cotton underwear, he’s definitely cleaned up and when he touches his neck, he can feel the darned hickey.

“Well, I guess you enjoyed this a lot more than you pictured, didn’t you?” Robb asks, sounding amused, and Theon doesn’t even look at him before hiding his face in the hollow of Robb’s neck.

“And you’re enjoying dirty talking to me a lot more than you did at the beginning.”

“Touché,” Robb admits, “but – well. Thank you for giving it a try.”

“Hell, if it’s always like this I could do it again,” Theon blurts, looking at his reflection in the rearview mirror and at the glaringly red patch of skin on the side of his neck. It feels good to look at it and have tangible proof that it actually exists and that he asked for it.

“I might take you seriously,” Robb retorts, pressing a soft kiss to his hair.

He basks in the feeling and doesn’t tell Robb that he was perfectly serious, too.


	8. Chapter 8

After that, he resolves to bring up the whole blindfolds thing up one time or the other – after all, if he could enjoy being in public this much then who knows if he wouldn’t hate it? But then he ends up not doing it for a good month – every time he even thinks about it he feels cold sweat rising at the back of his neck and he doesn’t try to push himself once. He kind of hates it – he generally can’t stand the idea that Ramsay Bolton might have done real permanent damage to any part of him, but it’s just too much to consider, and so he never brings it up. (Though once he brings up doing it in public again and Robb is only too happy to indulge him, and it’s as good as it was the first time, and that makes him feel marginally better about it.)

Then the month passes by and his dad invites him to dinner along with his sister.

That should have been the first suspicious hint – since when would his dad do it? The fact that he says he wants to ‘mend things up between them’ when he calls should have been the second red herring. The problem is that Theon still more or less never lost the hope that they could actually have a decent relationship, and so he agrees to it. Hell, he knows that Asha has dinner with him each week so if he’s invited along it can’t mean bad news – maybe he wants her to act as a buffer. He wouldn’t complain for that matter. So he says yes – that evening he was supposed to have a date with Robb and they end up not doing anything special since Theon insists on buying drinks for the both of them, but it’s not like they have to fuck every time, not since they’ve been seeing each other this long, and Robb looks thrilled for him. It’s in entirely good spirits that he drives to his dad’s the designated evening.

Just to find his sister leaving in a hurry – she gets out of the door the moment he parks in front of the building.

Then she heads straight for the passenger seat, opens the door and sits down.

“Drive,” she says, sounding downright pissed. Though not at him, at least.

What the hell?

“What’s going on?” He asks. “Has something –”

“I’ll explain later, just drive –”

The door opens again a moment later and Theon only has to glance at the person coming out before he presses on the gas pedal and the odometer goes from zero to fifty kilometers in five seconds as he speeds out.

“ – and get the fuck out of here, I was going to say,” Asha says when they’re already ten blocks ahead, “but I was hoping you wouldn’t actually see that.”

Theon says nothing and presses on the gas pedal harder, and he doesn’t stop for the next ten minutes, at which point he parks the car in the first empty spot he sees – damn, he has no clue of where he even is, but he barely looked at the road while driving.

“You can explain now,” he finally says, feeling like he’s going to be sick.

“Well, I got there early.”

“Early?”

“When did he tell you to come?”

“Nine. Why?”

“He told me nine thirty, but I got off at work earlier than I thought so I figured I would just go there first in case I could help with dinner. And I get there five minutes before you and I find – well, him. In the living room. The only good thing about it was that the moment he saw me he looked maybe kind of scared that I’d punch him in the mouth. Which I was about to do actually, but then Dad comes in, I ask him what is the creep doing there, he tells me that he thought it was time the two of you made up and got over your quibble.”

“ _Quibble_.”

“Exactly. I asked him if he actually talked to the creep’s father before deciding it was high time you got over it, and he didn’t answer at once before saying no, which suggests me that it was the case. At that point I said I wasn’t going to put up with it and went down the stairs hoping that you still would be on the car. Dad was saying you knew but –”

“I fucking didn’t know.”

“That was what I figured.”

“I have a fucking _restraining order_ ,” Theon says, his hands gripping the wheel tight enough that it hurts. “And he just – I can’t believe it. He tells me he wants to patch things up and then he – and I guess that’s because he really wants to do business with his father, doesn’t he.”

“Guess so. I’m sorry, if I had known before –”

“He told you to come in half an hour later,” Theon sighs. “He most probably didn’t want you to. And I was an idiot.”

“You couldn’t have known either,” she sighs, sounding about as weary as he feels.

“Listen, should I drive you home?”

“You know what, how about we get dinner somewhere instead?”

He tries to remember the last time he and his sister actually dined together, and he realizes he doesn’t recall it, and – no, it was about six months ago.

“You know what, I’m game.”

They stop at the first fish and chips joint they see and split one in between the two of them – at least they’ll have space for some ice cream later.

\--

“Listen,” he tells her when he’s halfway through dessert, “you think you could tell Dad not to bother calling again? Really, I’d do it myself but – just the idea of talking to him is giving me the creeps.”

“Sure. He can forget to talk to me for a long time either, for that matter.” She doesn’t sound too happy about that, and he feels marginally bad for it because he knows she actually has all the reasons to get along with their father, but he can’t possibly pretend for anyone’s sake anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he finally tells her.

“Don’t be. He deserves it. Never mind that he just – right. I’m going to say this once and you can forget I will ever say it again. All right?”

“… All right.”

She eats a piece of her dark chocolate cake and looks back up at him again. “Listen, I’d like to be wrong about this, I really would, but with this stint – it’s obvious that he can’t give less of a shit about you, and I wish I didn’t have to say it, but – if he did, he would have never tried to set you back up with that creep again. He knows you’re with someone else and if he did in fact give a damn, he’d have seen that you’re a lot better off now than you ever were with the piece of shit.”

“Wait, what –”

“It’s true. You are a lot better off. It’s so obvious anyone could see it even just by looking at pictures even if they didn’t know you.”

They stare at each other for a moment and then she huffs and grabs her phone before taking a picture of him without even asking.

“Asha, what –”

“You obviously don’t get it, so okay, I dare you to deny it.”

First she shows him the picture she just took, and then she fiddles with her phone until she finds one that most probably their uncle Aeron took at some family birthday party a year and a half ago – he’s always fiddling with other people’s phones lately.

He feels like he’s just been punched in the gut. In the one she just took he looks moderately surprised because he wasn’t expecting it, but he looked – well, good. In the one he’s staring at right now his cheekbones are a lot sharper, he looks generally gaunt, the bags under his eyes are a color closer to dark purple than anything else and he’s keeping his shoulders so hunched, he cringes just looking at it.

“Christ, I really did look like that?” It’s a rhetorical question, he knows he did, but – wow. He hadn’t realized it had become that bad.

“You did, and I’m not surprised since the creep spent that entire evening rationing your food. I did notice it, you know.”

“Shit,” he says, not quite knowing what else he could come up with.

“Yeah, _shit_. Seriously, at least the guy you’re with right now doesn’t withdraw said food from you, if he rations it.”

Theon almost flinches. “It’s not – I mean, that’s not how it works.”

“Good, because if it did I’d have had a problem. But I can see that he’s a decent guy, and it’s a good thing you finally stopped hanging around douchebags.”

Theon doesn’t try to deny it and eats the last spoonful of ice cream that’s left.

“Anyway,” Asha says a moment later, “if he actually cared, he’d have noticed. And he didn’t, so – I don’t really think you owe him anything. Least of all an explanation. I’ll deal with him.”

“Thank you.”

“No need. And by the way – I guess you just said it, more or less, but – what’s your guy’s name again?”

“Robb.”

“Right. Does your guy make you happy?”

“Yes,” he answers without even thinking about it. Maybe he should feel slightly worried, but – for some reason just saying it out loud feels nice. As if having it out in the open just took a weight off his shoulders.

“Then be happy and don’t give a shit in return. Fuck knows I haven’t actually seen you looking like this for more than three days straight in your life, at least before you met this guy, you should go and enjoy it.”

“Why, thanks. Wasn’t this a bit too touchy feely for your standards?”

“That’s why I’m going to drink half a bottle of Jack,” Asha mutters before ordering a whiskey on the rocks.

Theon doesn’t stop her and thinks about what she’s just said.

\--

After he drives her back home, he grabs his phone and calls Robb.

“Hey,” he says, “you mind if I drop over there?”

“No,” Robb answers, sounding surprised but not displeased. “How did it go?”

Theon doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry. “It’s complicated. I’ll tell you the moment I’m there. Also – wait, did you have tomorrow free?”

“Yeah. They had to do some emergency plumbing at the library so we aren’t going in for a week. Theon, what’s –”

“Nothing. I’ll explain when I’m there.”

He closes the call, then texts his boss’ secretary saying that he’ll take a couple days off – he has a month’s worth of holiday that he hasn’t used – and then drives off to Robb’s place, and he feels strangely calm about it all.

Maybe he shouldn’t ask what he thinks he’s about to ask, but – Asha was right. He should go and enjoy it, never mind that he’s sick tired of Ramsay Bolton somehow ruining his life, and – he wants to be rid of the guy, and maybe –

Maybe he can try it.

Maybe he should just try to get over whatever issues that idiot left him with, and there’s no time like the present, and he should probably do it now before he thinks some more about it and decides it’s a bad idea overall.

He drives to Robb’s place telling himself that he can do it, damn it.

\--

Robb opens the door looking moderately worried, and then he takes a good look at him and it becomes full-on worried.

“What’s going on?”

“Well,” Theon says, “the dinner was a bust. Meaning, my dad invited my ex, but my sister got there before me and proceeded to make sure we didn’t cross paths.”

“Wait. Wait, he invited the guy _who got a restraining order as far as you’re concerned_?”

“He did, and that’s why I’m not picking up the phone to talk to him again in the next ten lifetimes.”

“Well, _good_ ,” Robb says, looking legitimately angry on his behalf. “I mean – wow. Wow, that’s just sick, how could anyone –”

“As my sister put it, he probably just doesn’t give a shit and I should stop hoping he ever will. Which is – well, I’ll get over it. But that said – it made me realize a few things.”

“Like?”

“Like that I want to be done with that entire deal,” Theon breathes out, “and that I’m sick tired of that piece of shit still meddling with my life.”

“Seems reasonable to me.”

“Good. Also – did you have any alcohol this evening?”

Robb looks at him as if he doesn’t get it, and then his eyes widen in what seems like understanding. “Wait. You mean – I had half a beer, but –”

“Well, that’s not what is going to make you drunk. Good.”

“Why?”

“Because you can bring me to the bedroom and put a blindfold on me,” Theon replies, hoping to sound smooth – he’s not sure that his voice doesn’t shake, but Robb’s eyes go even wider and he takes a step closer.

“I _could_ ,” he answers slowly, “but – are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to and you don’t certainly have to prove anything to me or –”

“I know that,” Theon answers, and it comes a lot easier now that he’s heard that, regardless of how pathetic it might be. “But – it’s not that I want to prove something to you. I want to prove something to myself.”

“Like?”

Damn it, he should have known that Robb would have wanted to talk this through completely. Then again, it’s half the reason why their arrangement works so well, isn’t it?

“I didn’t hate it once. I didn’t particularly care for it, but it was fine. And then _he_ completely ruined it for me and he’s the only reason I have an issue with it. And I don’t want that. It’s just that – I want to not do it because _I_ don’t care for it, not because that son of a bitch ruined it for me. And I’m never going to get over it if I don’t try it again.”

_Never mind that I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it with me._

Robb stares intently at him for what feels like the longest minute in the universe.

And then.

_Then._

“Give me a list of everything he used to blindfold you,” Robb finally says, and Theon could cry but instead just tells him what he wants to know. Robb nods along, then does it a final time and he stands up from the sofa.

“Go to the bedroom,” he says, “and look in the fourth drawer in the nightstand. Use whatever is in there that you might want to, then wait for me. Standing.”

“Uh. Okay. Nothing else? I mean, should I take off my clothes or –”

“You’ll know when you open the drawer. See you in fifteen,” Robb says with a touch of finality, and Theon heads for the bedroom without trying to argue. He opens the drawer, not knowing what to expect, and –

And he wants to cry all over again.

Other than a pair of blue satin panties that they already used once and that he was sure Robb had thrown away – it’s not, and he needs to ask Robb how he managed not to ruin it in the wash – there’s also lube, the usual pack of condoms and finally the same Star Wars t-shirt of Robb’s that he sometimes uses to sleep in when he forgets to bring his stuff from home.

Theon isn’t the kind of person who doesn’t see the implication.

He slowly takes off his clothes, puts on the panties and then Robb’s shirt – damn, he can’t believe he’s wearing something with Han Solo’s face on it over blue satin panties but the shirt is soft and worn out and he likes the way it feels against his skin. He doesn’t know how long he stands there in the middle of the room – it’s probably less than it felt like – but finally Robb walks in and looks at him approvingly before closing the door and dumping a bunch of stuff on the bed.

Correction: it’s a bunch of scarves, a pair of nylon stockings – seriously? –, one of those masks you use on planes to block out the light and a few other things that could all be used as blindfolds, with enough imagination.

“Do you have a preference or do you want to look through each of them?”

Theon swallows, not knowing if he should feel touched or no looking at the sheer quantity of stuff lying on Robb’s bed right now.

“No. I think one of the scarves would work fine,” he settles on.

“Okay.” Robb grabs everything that isn’t a scarf and dumps it on a chair, then walks back to the bed and motions for him to sit down.

“Right. Go through them and pick one.”

“There’s no need –”

“You pick one.”

“How do you have so many of these anyway?” He asks while he goes through the bundle – there are at least fifteen in various colors and materials. And while he has seen Robb wear a couple of these, the rest aren’t exactly his style.

“Jon forgets stuff around when he spends the night, so if you end up picking one of his and I tell him what I used it for, maybe he’ll learn to bring his shit back home.”

Theon snorts, unable to keep it in, and in the end he goes for this soft sky-blue one that is definitely not Robb’s – just the fact that it’s some ridiculous blend of fake silk and he doesn’t even know what else should put an end to any doubt. The only scarves he’s seen on Robb were fleece and wool. It’s entirely too hipster to be Robb’s.

“This one,” he finally says. Robb dumps all the others on the chair along with the other stuff and then takes the scarf out of his hands, feeling it for a moment before giving him a curt nod and sitting down next to him on the bed.

“Great. Now, is there something I absolutely should _not_ do while I go through with this, other than the usual?”

He breathes in, swallows. “No tying up,” he says. “I can’t think of anything else.”

“Fine. Lay back down on the bed.”

He does it at once, feeling relieved that he just has something to do instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Robb rolls next to him, on his stomach and elbows, still holding the scarf up.

“Grab the headboard. You can let it go if it makes you feel restrained, but just try that for now.”

He complies without blinking – knowing that if it doesn’t work he can stop without asking does wonders in that sense.

“Very well. Now, is there anything you want me to do?”

Yeah. If only he had gone that far. “I don’t know,” he answers truthfully before he starts overthinking it.

“That’s fine. I’ll make it up as I go along. I’m going to put this on now, but I want you to keep your eyes open under it.”

_What_? His surprise obviously shows on his face since Robb smirks a bit and leans closer. “Why do you think there wasn’t one black scarf in that bunch? I have a ton, but if the point is making it different, if you close your eyes it’s not going to work, is it?”

… oh. He thinks he gets it, and he doesn’t know if it’s going to change anything but – it’s worth a try.

“So – all the time?”

“At the beginning, yes. Then – well, I can’t see that, obviously, but it’s up to you. I’m going to do it now – if you want to stop just say it, all right?”

“Fine. Fine, go ahead.”

He keeps his eyes open as Robb slowly, carefully wraps the scarf around his eyes. One loop, two loops, three loops – shit, how long is that thing even – until he ties it up at the back of his head in a very loose knot. If he wanted it off, he could just stop grasping at the headboard and he’d be rid of it in a moment.

Good. Good, because while it’s vastly different than the last time – for one, he can only see sky-blue and it’s enough of a difference that it’s not sending him into a panic – he still feels so tense he could snap.

“Color?” Robb asks from his right side.

“… Green. Sort of.”

“Explain sort of.”

His grip on the headboard tightens.

“It’s – it’s not too bad. For now. But – well. I don’t like it. But I knew I wouldn’t.”

“We can stop.”

“I don’t want to.”

It’s probably irrational that he wants to go through with this more than he actually cares about liking it or not, but Robb isn’t calling it off for now.

He breathes in sharply the moment Robb’s fingers brush against his leg, and he feels his grip tighten even more. Shit, he’s tense again, and it’s _nothing_ , and he’s so over in his head that he’ll never manage to relax, but maybe if he tried harder –

Robb puts his other hand on his hip, and he flinches hard enough that he probably feels it, and he’s about to tell him to just go ahead when –

“Yellow,” Robb suddenly says and –

_What, again?_

The blindfold comes off a moment later and Theon is pretty sure that his own face must be more surprised than else now – Robb just looks dead serious.

“Uhm – apologies if – but did you just –”

“Safewords go both ways,” Robb says, but he’s half-smiling now. “And I can’t go ahead like this.”

“But –”

“You’re obviously not getting anything out of it and while I get why you want to, I can’t get into it if you’re that uncomfortable.”

“I don’t want to be,” he manages to put together, and he wishes he didn’t sound this frustrated, but he does.

“I know that, but pushing it isn’t going to work. But – let’s try it differently. I’m going to make myself some tea.”

“You’re –”

“I’m going to leave the door open so you can hear when I’m coming back. It shouldn’t take me more than fifteen. I want you to think about any possible way this won’t make you uncomfortable and I want you to tell me when I come back. Meanwhile, I’m going to think about a couple of things I might do to you, and I’m going to tell you, and you’re going to say if you’re on board, and then we’re trying it again. No, you can’t discuss this. Think about it.”

And then he stands up and leaves and –

The moment he’s out of the door, his arms lose half of the tension and by the time he hears the electric boiler blip, he knows Robb was right to let things cool down – damn, he really was out of his element before.

He breathes in for a while, as he hears Robb pour water into the kettle, and tries to do what Robb asked of him, and –

And to his more or less great shame, he realizes that he can only think of what he doesn’t want to happen.

By the time Robb is back, he has a more or less comprehensive list, but it’s not making him grip the headboard any less tight.

“So, let’s start again,” he says, sitting next to him on the bed.

“There’s a problem.”

“I’m listening.”

“I can tell you what you can’t do. Not what you should. But – at this point – Might as well not do it.”

“You never know. So, what is it that I can’t do?”

He wants to cry. “Well, it happened twice. Once he left me tied up to the bed wearing a blindfold for at least three hours and I didn’t even know if he was in the room or not, and what happened later is on the hard limits list, so – that was one. The second, he had his way without lube and then he sucked me off for the first and only time in his life so that I would _forgive him_ , so – guess that rules out most of the fun, doesn’t it?”

Robb looks like he wants to punch the wall, but then he doesn’t, and instead he gives him a firm nod and leans down on his elbows again.

“You haven’t heard my proposal first.”

“And it would be?”

“So I shouldn’t fuck you. Doesn’t mean you can’t do that to me.”

For a moment, his brain goes into total short circuit.

“Sorry, what?”

“I could ride you. I never said that I don’t like it both ways, you know.”

He considers it. He tries to imagine such an occurrence happening in all of his previous relationships and he almost wants to laugh because he can’t even conceive it.

He can’t help it – he laughs. Not long, and not loud, but he has to. Never mind that he always liked it best bottoming, but in this occasion he thinks he could totally give it a try.

“Well, sounds peachy. Okay. Fine. We can try it.”

“Good. I’m going to put on that blindfold again – say it if you have a problem, okay?”

“Right. Go ahead.”

This time, though, he’s a lot less tense. Maybe it’s knowing what’s going to happen and maybe it’s that he had time to think about it, he doesn’t know, but the moment Robb ties the scarf at the back of his head again he doesn’t feel half as worried as before. He’s still not into it at all but it’s a ton better.

“Color?” Robb asks as he leans back.

“Green,” he replies a lot easier. “Except – you know that rule where you shouldn’t be all over me?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you can forget about it for now,” he blurts out, because the thing is that before he could see it, but now he can’t – he only sees sky-blue, and he thinks he’d do a lot better feeling Robb on top of him.

“With pleasure,” Robb says, and then his knees are around his legs and he’s completely covering Theon and for a moment he thinks he’s going to panic, but then he doesn’t – actually, it’s a lot better now. If he feels Robb everywhere, then he knows where he is and that was the only thing he actually wanted to make sure of.

Then Robb grinds against him and he grinds back at once, and good thing that Robb feels very much into it. At least one of them is.

“Right,” Robb says a moment later, “no sucking off. Are hands off-limits as well?”

“If you really have to use them –” He starts, though he doesn’t think it would be such a great idea.

“Not really,” Robb interrupts. “Guess I’ll have to go the old-fashioned way. Oh, and from now on you’re allowed to say whatever you want, but not to correct me.”

And then Robb leans down and kisses him, his hands going to the sides of his face, and – it’s long. It’s long and thorough and when Robb moves away, taking a breath, Theon’s cheeks feel so very flushed.

“You look amazing, you know,” Robb says before leaning back down and kissing him again, once, twice, and then he moves over and starts planting a line of kisses along his cheek.

“And I could do this all day,” he breathes against his collarbone before moving back up and kissing him all over, his crotch grinding against Theon’s and fuck, is he really just going to make out with Theon until they’re both hard enough to get a move on? He’d like to think that it’s ridiculous and they aren’t teenagers anymore, but Robb seems to be quite taken with that idea.

And the thing is – the moment he stops thinking about it and goes with the flow, he realizes that it’s not really that bad. It’s – nice, actually. He hasn’t made out for the sake of it in ages – he moans when Robb bites down on his lower lip so very gently he doesn’t know how long later, and that’s when he realizes that he’s _definitely_ interested now. He feels his half-hard cock press up against Robb’s when Robb grinds down against him again and – shit, Robb is totally into it and Theon would like to ask how but maybe later. A lot later.

“Well, that was easier than I’d have thought,” Robb mutters as he grinds down against Theon again. “And with that I mean that it’s really great you got there this fast. Should be plenty enough.” Then he leans down for another kiss, but his hands aren’t on his face or neck anymore and Theon figures that he must be about to lose clothes.

He kind of wishes he could see it, but – the idea of not being able to isn’t as horrid-sounding as it’d have been a moment ago. Never mind that keeping his eyes open is definitely making a difference – he can’t see a thing past the blue of the scarf, but it’s not darkness, so – yeah. Yeah, he thinks he can do that.

“Do you want to make the honors?” Robb says a moment after Theon clearly hears clothes dropping on the ground.

Before Theon can ask for clarifications, Robb presses a bottle of lube into his hands and –

Shit, it’s too much. He knows that Robb is trying to do something responsible by leaving him a lot more leeway than usual when calling the shots, but right now he needs not to.

“Hey, uh, you can – just go for it. If it’s not fine I’m going to tell you. Just – you decide.”

He can almost see Robb frowning, but he obviously has nothing to object because a moment later he has grabbed Theon’s hand in his, poured lube on his fingertips and –

Shit. Shit, he can feel how tight Robb is as he slowly pushes them in, or better, as Robb slowly pushes them in, and maybe it’s a good thing that he can’t see a thing because he’d be completely overcome if he were, never mind that the idea of Robb using his fingers to open himself up –

Christ, his cock is doing a lot more than stirring in interest, regardless of how much he still thinks that the blindfold thing is turning him off, and when Robb sinks down on his index and middle finger a while later after some careful stretching he moans so loud that if the neighbors don’t come knocking it’ll be a miracle.

“I think I’m ready,” Robb says from above him after rolling a condom on him with hands that are shaking only ever so slightly. “I’m going in a moment – if you want to stop, say it anytime.”

“Green,” he chokes, because there’s nothing else he can come up with right now, and then he hears Robb take a breath and –

And.

Suddenly, he feels everything tenfold, maybe because he can’t see a thing other than blue cloth, but Robb goes in at once and the feeling makes him moan even louder – he’s tight, so tight, but he also slides in easy, and while he doesn’t dare move a muscle he already feels overwhelmed. When Robb decides to move –

“Why,” Robb groans, his voice sounding hoarser than it did a moment ago, “I hadn’t done this in a while but – nice. I’m going to move now.” And he does, his hips rolling upwards for a moment and then downwards and _fuckfuckfuck_ he can feel the moment he hits the right spot and Robb moans shamelessly above him, and his body feels like it’s completely on fire, and not being able to see anything means that he hears every little moan and breath coming out of Robb’s mouth, and he can feel how his clothes are sticking to his skin and how the silk panties are stretching around his thighs, never mind Robb’s knees around his hips and –

“You feel so _good_ ,” Robb moans from above him, and that’s when he realizes that this feels pretty damn amazing and that he hasn’t thought about all the reasons why he hates blindfolds in a while and that damn it he likes it, he’s liking it and enjoying every damn thrust inside Robb that he’s not in charge of, and he could almost cry –

“Whenever you want, you can,” Robb croaks, obviously trying to maintain some control even if he’s obviously this close to the brink, and wait, did he just give him permission just before he totally lost it?

He knows it was that when Robb’s hips cant downwards one last time and he comes all over him – Theon can feel it on his stomach and damn everything is upped tenfold and Robb’s hands are gripping at his hips hard enough to bruise and –

And he lets go a moment later, not even realizing how hard until it happens, and _he can’t believe it happened even if he wasn’t seeing a thing_ and then his hands lose the grip on the headboard and everything goes black for a moment.

He’s sure he only blanks out for a couple seconds, because then he can see just blue again and Robb’s hands are back on his face, going for the knot, and –

And.

“Wait – wait, leave it on a moment.”

Robb stops, though Theon can hear the surprised intake of breath. But – right now, it feels downright nice. He’s floating on endorphins, he knows that, and maybe that’s most of the reason, but – not being able to see Robb but to feel him everywhere is an entire different experience and he’s not sure he wants it to be over yet.

“You having an epiphany or something?” Robb asks a beat later, and he sounds downright amused but also so very fond, and he can feel his lips stretching out in a grin.

“Could be,” he slurs. He can feel Robb’s body totally covering his and he doesn’t feel constricted for once.

Then one of Robb’s hands moves down and he grabs Theon’s rather numb fingers in between his, and he starts rubbing at them slowly, and _oh_ , he thinks, _it really happened_ , he really did go through with it and he liked it for the most part, and it’s probably ridiculous that this is the moment when he feels everything else slip away. And Robb probably feels it too, the moment his shoulders sag down – the blindfold comes away a moment later and he has to blink against the sudden light in the room. Also Robb is looking at him weird, as if he doesn’t know whether to be pleased or worried. He’d like to say that it’s the former, of course it’s the former, but as usual he could barely put two sentences together and he doesn’t even know where to start from.

“Hey, everything all right?” He asks, and damn, but he’s a sight. His cheeks are a lovely shade of red and it’s obvious that he’s just had the time of his life, and he sounds slightly short of breath, and not for the first time Theon thinks that he’s more than just a bit in love with him, and maybe one of these days he’ll say it, though not when he’s floating like this.

He sees Robb wipe his free hand on the sheet before bringing it to the side of his head, his fingertips slowly carding through his damp hair, and –

He melts into it, not closing his eyes like he normally would just because he wants to look at Robb’s face as long as he can before he inevitably passes out, and then he breathes in a couple times before answering.

“Never better,” he finally manages to say as his forehead touches Robb’s, and he means it entirely.


	9. Chapter 9

Nine months after their first real date, as corny as it sounds, Theon decides that it’s high time he goes for it.

He hasn’t been seeing anyone for this long in his entire life, by now he’s this sure Robb might ask him to move in at some point soon because Theon spends more time at his place than at his own, they still get along like a house on fire and not just in bed, and for fuck’s sake, the guy actually introduced him to his parents and his bunch of relatives and it was a good thing that Jon kept his mouth shut when they both said they met in a bar and not at the bar he works in – he was looking like he was about to laugh his arse off, though, which Theon supposes was entirely justifiable in that circumstance. And if Robb asks him he’ll say yes without even thinking about it. Never mind that as far as their sex life goes, he’s never been this satisfied with it in his life, and he’s pretty sure that for Robb it’s the same regardless of how much that notion still somehow baffles him.

One day he’ll get over it and he’ll stop thinking that it’s a ridiculous notion that someone might be entirely satisfied with him, especially since the more time passes the more Robb has caught up to it and by now he doesn’t go one round without listing all the ways he’s being great at it, so – one day.

Meanwhile, it’s probably high time he comes clean about the only thing he lied about in that checklist. Because there was one specific item he had checked as a one, mostly because after Ramsay the bare idea of suggesting it made him really hyperventilate. But before Ramsay – he might have fantasized a lot about finding someone he trusted enough to actually go through with it. Pity that it never happened.

Until now, that is.

The day he gathers up his guts and buys the damn thing, he figures that he should just get on with it. When he gets at Robb’s place in time for the dinner they had agreed on two days before, he’s slightly early. Robb was obviously in the middle of putting dinner together when he opens the door – he’s dressed in old stuff that he only wears around the house and he has mismatched socks on and he obviously didn’t shave this morning. His cheeks are also flushed because of the kitchen heat and he tells Theon that he’s one hour early, damn it, and he’s just going to make sure nothing burns in the kitchen before putting on something less horrid.

Theon smiles and follows him into the kitchen instead, closing the door while Robb turns down the fire under the food.

“No need for changing,” he says, “I think you’re good like this.”

“Says the one who’s wearing ironed dress pants.”

… it’s not just the dress pants, it’s also the shirt, Theon doesn’t say.

“Well, you said it, not both of us need to have fashion sense, right? And anyway, that wasn’t what I was going to talk to you about.”

“Oh. Okay. Is there something you have to tell me?”

“Yeah. Let’s say that there was a checklist item I always lied about. Well, more or less. Back when we did it, it wasn’t a lie. But I wasn’t going to ask anyone I didn’t know for it, if I had to.”

“Right. And you’re about to ask me now?”

“I’m about to ask you now, even if the rational part of me says I’m crazy to even consider asking it to someone who thinks pink shirts are a good choice when their hair is ginger.”

Robb laughs out loud, and damn but Theon’s heart maybe skips a beat or two at that.

“Told you, I can go and change my clothes in a moment.”

“Nah. I also like you for your absolutely appalling fashion sense. And – right, let’s just – here.”

Theon thrusts the nondescript bag at Robb, who opens it and takes out the equally nondescript black box out of it – the original one was a lot more obvious about the content, but he’d rather not give it out until Robb has to look inside it.

Which happens exactly a moment later.

Robb’s eyes go so wide at seeing the thin, black leather collar inside the box that it would almost be comical, if only it was happening to someone else.

For a moment, Theon is worried that he pushed it too much.

But then Robb looks up at him with an expression that says entirely otherwise.

“You want me to –”

“Yes. Just in bed, if you were wondering, but –”

“I wasn’t presuming you’d enjoy it that much otherwise. And neither would I, probably, but – for real?”

“For real. I just – I always thought it would be great to try it out with someone who actually, y’know, wouldn’t fuck it up, but I never asked anyone else. With good reason I guess. But – I have an inkling you wouldn’t fuck it up.”

“You’re incredible, you know that?”

“What?” That wasn’t what he had expected at all.

“Never mind. You’ll get it one day.” Robb’s grin is positively hard enough it has to hurt, and Theon isn’t having second thoughts at all. “So, when?”

“No time like the present?”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t see why not. Sure. Get over here.”

Yes, he thinks as he swallows down and walks up to Robb – he’s about to look down at his feet but no, Robb likes it better when he doesn’t, and so he just looks at him in the eyes as Robb unclasps the collar, takes the edges delicately between his fingertips and then puts him with uttermost care around his neck – he doesn’t close it so that it’s automatically snug, but then he pushes his thumbs under it and pulls just slightly, and then it feels snug, and –

And it feels good. 

“Now,” Robb says, still grinning all the way, “I think you should go back to the bedroom, change your precious clothes into whatever you might be comfortable in – everything’s in the same drawer, by the way – and then you’re going to come back here and you can wait right next to me while I finish with the food. What do you say?”

“Sounds great,” he replies, already feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Robb drags him forward for a kiss and then tells him to go – he heads for the bedroom, changes into the Star Wars shirt and a pair of soft pajama pants (but not before putting on a pair of dark red satin panties that was tucked next to the shirt in that same drawer) and then heads back to the kitchen. Robb is standing next to the stove, stirring something in the pot, but when he comes in he turns out the fire and walks up to him, his fingers hooking around the collar and dragging him gently forward.

“So,” he says after he kisses him again, a long and thorough one, “what do you say if I tell you to wait for me right there?” And he nods at the floor, where he can see a plush red pillow he hadn’t noticed before, and –

Yes.

Yes, that’s exactly what he’d like.

He sits down on it, his head pressing against Robb’s leg the moment he stands at the stove again, his hand going to Robb’s calf, and he nuzzles closer the moment Robb’s hand goes to his head and starts petting gently at his hair, his nails occasionally scratching at the back of his neck. The collar doesn’t feel constricting at all but he can feel it all the way, and when Robb’s hand moves away to come back a moment later with a piece of stew placed right next to his mouth, he grasps it between his teeth and licks Robb’s fingers clean without a second thought, basking in how familiar and warm and grounding it feels.

“I was thinking,” Robb says a short while later, “since you sprung this on me and all without even a warning and I don’t want to push too much the first time, we can just keep it easy this evening? We can watch a movie or something without anything else and you don’t have to do anything harder than what you’re doing right now. I can worry about the rest. Is that a green?”

And –

The thing is that it is, of course it is.

But when he opens his mouth to say it, what comes out of it is _damn it Robb, I think I’m in love with you_ , and the moment it happens, he somehow doesn’t freak out at once.

Maybe it’s because Robb has dropped to one knee in front of him a second later, and because he’s saying _well I didn’t want to sound like the cheesy one out of the two of us but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, too_.

And as Robb hooks his thumbs under the collar again and drags him forward for another kiss, that doesn’t break even when some kitchen alarm starts blaring and breaks the silence, Theon thinks that he really, really wouldn’t want this any other way.

End.


End file.
